Cool things

An aye-aye, the largest nocturnal primate in the
world and one of the strangest mammals on the planet

1. Google Earth
Fly from space to your neighborhood.

2. $5 bus fare from Baltimore to New York
With gas and tolls it costs at least $60 if you drive

3. 50 Fun Things To Do With Your iPod (besides listening to music with those white earbuds)
Obviously only interesting to those of us who have iPods

4. The Cloak
Safely view porn at work (just kidding!) but it will get you into sites blocked by your company's firewall!

5. Really, whats the difference?



6. Someone paid this guy $37,375 to use his forehead as advertising space!



8. Urban Asshole Notification Cards

9. Freecycle
Get things for free, get rid of your crap for free. Everything from books, furniture, plants, VCRs...Very hippy. Join a local group and stop contributing to our throw-away society!

10. And finally, a politician, in a horrendous mistake, expresses his actual opinion

I hope you enjoyed this slack-at-work material of the day.
Sincerely,
-The anti-cheerleader

end of the world? BRING IT!

Last night Victor and I went to see a sneak preview, along with local press, of War of the Worlds, at the Senator Theatre in Baltimore. In a word, it was AWESOME. I don't want to say anything about it except GO SEE IT IMMEDIATELY (well, when it becomes available for general viewing, suckahs!) It was so great and not just because I am a sucker for end-of-the-world disaster movies (although I am). I recommend seeing it at the Senator- incredible sound system, politely quiet audience, huge screen, old-style cinema ambiance...the lack of stadium seating was really not a problem. They frisked us with metal detectors and took our cellphones- not for weapons and mid-movie phone ringing, I found out, but to prevent piracy (via cellphone video? come on !). The movie was incredible, I have no complaints at all. I saw Batman Begins on Saturday, a really good movie, but this one blows it out of the water (in my humble but always-right opinion!) It was all that I had hoped for, and more. I was on the edge of my seat the entire length of the film.

SO FREAKING GOOD

Today I am wearing my Buddha necklace to remind me that material
wealth does not make one happy.

When Lord Buddha spoke about suffering, he wasn't referring simply to superficial problems like illness and injury, but to the fact that the dissatisfied nature of the mind itself is suffering. No matter how much
of something you get, it never satisfies your desire for better or more.This unceasing desire is suffering; its nature is emotional frustration.

~Lama Yeshe

think I'm gettting an ulcer...

Glass half full: My car is better then a wheelbarrow

The stress is really getting to me, I may be getting an ulcer. Ok so maybe I am a bit of a hypocondriac but... Something is wrong with my new car and every time I think about it, which is every time I drive in it and every time i wake up in the morning, my head starts pounding and my stomach starts churning. I'm so tired of being poor, I don't want to worry about money and I want someone to help me take care of stuff. I don't want to have to be a wage slave, I don't want to worry about how I'm not putting enough money away for retirement and will have to be serving fries when I am 70, or how I'm going to pay for college, or being able to afford summer camps. I don't want to have all of the responsiblity on my head, its enormous. Wah, I hate being poor! I also stopped getting child support this month, and who knows how long thats going to last! Money money money, i hate it. They say the #1 thing that couples argue about is money. Its wicked, its evil, and I WANT MORE! I don't have to be rich, I just want to be comfortable. Is that so much to ask? I know I am a princess, and that
THINGS COULD BE
A LOT
WORSE.
(or better...)

Now read this creepy article.

I am smarter then the average bear

Pollers at The University of Pennsylvania spent lots of money to confirm what the public already knows: People who watch The Daily Show With Jon Stewart are just plain smarter than everyone else.
Over 19,000 adults were given a six-item political test within a two month survey period. Those who do not watch late night TV at all answered 2.62 items correctly. On the other hand, Letterman fans answered 2.91 correctly, Leno fans 2.95, and The Daily Show viewers 3.59. Jon Stewart for president!


Also, hmmm.....

and, what the?

and, whu??

what's worse....

no plaque!

Had my 6 month dental cleaning today. Yay for dental hygene!
So, what's worse, the dentist, or reality TV?

The Dentist "My worst nightmares"

Flava Flav & Bridget Neilsen "The Surreal Life"

If you were on a desert island, strapped to a chair in front of a television with your eyes pasted open Clockwork Orange style, which TV show would you least want to be playing a marathon of back to back episodes? Which would you most want?

"Oh my GOD! Please let me have the remote!! PLEEAASE!!"

Frightening fact of the day: If you do a Google search for "Dental Retractor," 8 out of 10 results are BDSM sites! There are some wack fetishes out there, jaysus.

DO IT in the morning!

30 minutes of heaven

Today my boss talked me into going with her to get a massage at lunch. It didn't take much convincing, because lately I have chronic pain in my right shoulder from too much designing on the computer. Really its just a major knot there that won't go away. We only did 1/2 hour, which was soo not enough. At the end of the massage, which felt great but didnt even put a dent in that knot, the chick massaging me says, 'girl, your right shoulder is MESSED UP.'

GREAT. thanks. So, that was $40 and it still hurts.

oh well.

Even so, massages are the bomb and you should go get one immediately. Anyone who wants to give me one, let me know. I'll take my clothes off, you can rub oil all over my body, but you have to do it to me LONG and HARD.
...I'm talking about a MASSAGE, you perv.

In other news, last night I said, 'I am going to wake up early tomorrow and run." and I DID!! You may not think that's amazing, but IT IS! Early is not a word in my vocabulary, normally. Also, I am going to do it again tomorrow. If you do it in the morning, then you have the whole day ahead of you to think, 'I already did it'.
I like to do it in the morning ;P

I am listening to:
Nick Drake

I am eating:
Palak Paneer

looks like every kid's nightmare, tastes great!

I am thinking about:
how to get my new tags tomorrow, all by myself :(

my new car (probably)

So, this weekend V's car karma rubbed off on me and I finally found a car that I actually like and isn't a piece of cr*p. Another benefit to going with him was getting to drive up and down smooth, traffic-free, curvy Rt. 83 at 85 mph in a BMW, so fun! The girl selling it didn't seem shady at all, she lived in the most gorgeous verdant neighborhood in east Baltimore where all of the houses look like fairy tale gingerbread houses with little curvy paths going up to the front door and brick turrets with ivy growing on them and those triangle things that you see in Holland or something, and lots of lush greenery everywhere. I totally trusted her, she teaches cello for godssake. Here's a photo of what it looks like, not bad for a "practical, reliable, 4 door sedan"

2002 Mazda Protege

I also attended LatinoFest on Saturday, highly recommended for its 'sights, sounds and smells' ;) ESPECIALLY the grilled plantains. WOW. Other funky stuff being sold there to eat included pigs ears, gizzards, and tripe (the lining of intestines). So glad I don't eat meat!

Tripe

Also, I saw the movie 'Crash' and I give it two thumbs up. Go see it. Its not a cheerful film (its subject matter is racial tension in L.A.), but it is powerful and thought provoking, without being preachy, and shows you that nothing is black and white (excuse the pun!). Sadly, one character in the movie reminded me of a friend who died at a young age a few years ago in a car accident. The character in the movie was misjudged to be a thug-type but was really a decent person with a heart of gold, like Juan. He had a daughter and was so sweet with her just like I know Juan would have been had he been given the chance to live long enough to become a father. Life is unfair.

Victor met my parents, briefly... I think it went well...?

Also it looks like going to Vegas may not work out. I was going to meet my friend Angie who will be there for a boxing match the same weekend. She sent me a long list of cool stuff to see and do if I went there to meet her, like Madame Tusseds wax museum, the Bellagio fountain at night, dinner at the Stratosphere rotating restaurant, Elvis O'rama Museum, etc. but its a 5 hr drive each way from San Diego which I guess is too much, if you include the 5 hr flight immediately after getting back. *sigh*

The Stratosphere

Oh well, maybe I'll go there for my birthday or something. Either way I am super psyched about going to San Diego, its been so long since i've been on a proper vacation!

If you like Triumph the Insult Dog and making fun of starwars nerds, CLICK HERE RIGHT NOW!

worst day ever (unless you are a sex slave in Macedonia)

I hate Brazil nuts

Today, instead of complaining about how HORRIBLE it is to get your CAR TOWED in downtown baltimore and how INSANE the price is to get it back, and how much WORSE it is when your CELLPHONE IS IN THE CAR and you're all alone, and your knight in shining armor doesn't SHOW UP and you are sitting there with NO PHONE FOR AN HOUR and don't even know if you will be rescued...

...i'll just post this disturbing article. Since no one likes a whiner.
Cannibal Apocalypse! Rice is People!

To make me feel better about my nightmare of a day yesterday, V is taking me here!

San Diego! & maybe rent a car & drive through the desert to Vegas!
It could be a convertible - it could be so Fear and Loathing!

doo doo dee doo dooo (mahnah mahnah)

The other day on TV a commercial came on for Dr. Pepper, and part of the commercial was this song that was totally from the Muppets. Its the 'MahnahMahnah' song. I had to track it down in the name of nostalgia, so I did, and here it is for everyone to enjoy! You can thank me in the form of donations. Make checks payable to 'The Cult of Shirley". Thanks for your support.

Sorry, your browser doesn't support the embedding of multimedia.
If you can't see the video above, click here to downoad it and launch it from your desktop.
To see the commercial I'm talking about, click here then click "media gallery" and click the tv on the left.

HONFEST
In other news, last Saturday was Honfest in Baltimore, I didn't go this year because it was like 1000 degrees outside, but Mo did so here are his photos, totally worth checking out. My favorite is the bathroom sign that says, "Turlits". haha. Baltimore rocks, because it says, 'yeah, we are ridiculous, and we know it. We CELEBRATE it.' That is a rockin' attitude that I can respect.

it cost me $78 to find out...

:-(

I spent all afternoon chatting with this dude I freelance for from Microsoft who's in town and visiting my office (who he freelances for). He gave me some great advice about being organized and taking control of your life, being an actor, not a prop. We may collaborate on writing a children's book (he'll write, I'll illustrate). I've always thought of doing it but its never gotten past the thinking part. Well, this guy is the 'DO STUFF' type, not just the 'THINK STUFF' type, so maybe it will actually happen. He has more side projects going on then anyone I have ever met, including having published a book and created a game based on Gwar (Gwar Rumble in Antartica - so random!). Anyway, other then finding out what's wrong with my car really IS the transmission, nothing really interesting to say. Going on a 'pre-job-interview dinner' with my ex-boss, so she can coach me with regards to what they want to hear on Thursday when I go for the interview. I still haven't decided if I would even take this job if they offer it to me. Maybe I'll have a better idea after the interview... Major life decisions are so hard...

pimp *my* ride, xhibit!

There's a glimmer of hope for my poor dearly departed Camry! This weekend while shopping for cars, I spoke with a guy selling a car who happens to work at a transmission shop. Out of curiosity, I asked him how much he charges to replace transmission on a 92 Camry-- he told me that its very unlikely for the transmission to go on a Camry, and the symptoms sounded more like a broken axle, price tag: $180. He's going to look at it today for free!! If that's the only problem, I may be able to get another year or two out of my car, which by the way I found out I love more then any car I looked at so far. So, I am totally crossing my fingers.

This weekend I went to a wedding which I would have made us late to if we didn't have a race car to get there in, and Racer X at the wheel! It was actually really fun and not tedious like most weddings tend to be. Short and to the point, and my table was all friends and new people that I liked a lot and got along with well, and my man looked so sexy in a suit (but not as good as in a tux), even though I laugh at how he glows whenever someone tells him he looks like Vince Vaughn! The drive back was beautiful in Monkton away from the city lights, with a sky full of stars that you never get to see in the city. Should have pulled over and laid down a blanket in a field.....

Savior of the terminally late

Sunday was finally the last day of soccer season, and I spent the afternoon at a BBQ at the coach's house. I thought it was going to be a drag because I am usually odd man out at those things, since I am 10 years younger then anyone there and the only one with a kid in middle school, and they all sort of look at me like I am an alien. That's sort of how its been at every game, but perhaps I am partially to blame because I am antisocial sometimes. Suprizingly, I actually had a pretty good time. Everyone was really nice and not all weird Martha-Stewart-ish phony acting. I played soccer and Frisbee in the giant yard with Cody while the little kids ran around having watergun fights in their bathing suits, then hung out with the grown ups and cooked my veggie burgers and dogs on the grill without too many raised eyebrows. I also had the sweet moment when the coach's wife asked if we were going to be back next year, she hoped so because she really likes Jake, "what a neat kid!" and we should request to be on the same team again. And (with a gleam of jealousy in her eyes) talking about how I'm lucky because my kids are so sweet and well behaved :) as she embarrassedly tries to control her bratty-acting kid who is (comically) stomping around and clenching her fists. Heheheh, in yo' face! :P

Nyah nyah, I'm better then your kid!

P.S. I actually tried to find out how to get on pimp my ride but there's no place on the website to sign up! Oh well, no pool table in the back and four TV's in the car for me :(

Sorry to make this post even longer, but I have to mention the thoroughly teenage moment I had last night ... setting off fireworks in the road out front of my house. they were all like, colored smokebombs and things that stand on the ground and silently shoot out colored sparks. Well, then Cody lights one and its starts making these super-loud whistles and bangs and shooting colored sparks and firebombs into the air, BANG!! BANG!! BANGBANGBANG!! WEEEEOOOOOOO! BANG!!! BANGBANG BANG!!! (Its like 10:30pm!) So I'm like, "RUN!" And we all run giggling back into the house to hide, meanwhile the neighbors all come out to see what the hell is going on, cars driving by stop in the middle of the road...So embarrassing!!

working hard at INFORMS

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Let me know via comment or email if you are able to figure out how to view the video, and if so did it play directly from the blog or did you have to download it or open your Quicktime player first? I'm experimenting so I want to know what works and what doesn't.

P.S. O'Doyle Rules!

it could be worse

Really Bad Jobs

What's the worst job you've ever had?

my bosses at Jerry's Subs

Mine was Jerry's at the mall. The bosses were two thirty-something dudes with long hair and 70's style mustaches who would steal our Marlboros and ask us if we liked to do it doggy-style (we were 15). They made this one wide-eyed innocent girl repeat all the words to the 98 Rock twisted tune 'Dead Puppies Aren't Much Fun' and she almost cried. Fun!

end transmission

R I P

Its a sad sad day- I have to say goodbye to my long time friend.... my car.

You've been with me for 6 years, through good times and bad. I know I've mistreated you, abused you, only put gas in you and hoped for the best. Yet, you were always there for me, never breaking down, even though I can't remember the last time I tuned you up. Now your transmission is shot, and they want to charge me $1,584 to replace it, and guilty as I feel about it, you are old and used up and just not worth it.

Arthur Fonzerelli

But, I will miss your reliability, your quirky trunk that needed to be banged on in just the right spot to get it to open making me feel like the Fonz, your bad radio reception because of the broken antenna I never replaced, the way no passenger ever felt like they succeeded in closing the door because of the dent, the sloshing of the water that accumulated inside of the left rear door. *sigh* So long, friend Camry. Farewell.

Crap, I need to find another car QUICK.

...and now for something completely different

Because of a movie that I just saw, I'd like to take an informal poll.

Here it is:

Cheating:

Is it inevitable?

I think most people out there have been cheated on at some point in their lives (I know I have), and some have cheated on others (NOT ME!) But I'm not judging... Some have had relationships with people although they knew that person was cheating on someone with them (in my opinion, the responsibility lies with the cheater, not the person they are cheating with).

So, if you want you can remain anonymous, but leave a comment as to whether you think fidelity is possible in a long term relationship (like marriage), and at least say whether you are male or female, even if you remain anonymous. Also you can add whether you have been cheated on, or have cheated on someone, or dated someone you knew was cheating. Also, if you cheated, did you feel guilty? If someone you loved cheated on you, would you walk right out the door or try to work things out? If you've never cheated, is it a concious effort, or is it just because the perfect opportunity/temptation never came along? Like, maybe you arent out looking for someone to cheat with, but if you were on a business meeting out of town and a hottie was ready to take their clothes off for you, no strings attached, no one would ever find out, would you say no to that?

Inquiring minds want to know!

my new toy

Wacom Intuos3 6X8 USB Tablet

This is my new $350 toy at work. I am the only one who has one and the cause of much jealousy in the office. I wish I could get one for everyone! IT IS SO COOL. And, with my sweet setup of two flat screen 19" monitors and this awesome toy, it is making it a much harder decision whether or not I should consider leaving to go into a less graphics, more marketing environment. *sigh*

What I'm listening to today:
the Dandy Warhols
&
Iron & Wine

both are awesome.

nast:
Man's Leg, Torso Fall Out of Plane in New York

...Pam Hearne heard "a loud crash'' and later was stunned to see a foot clad in an Adidas sneaker and a sock in her yard, said Officer Thomas Blanchard. The leg, with hip and spine attached, dented the shingled roof of her garage before bouncing into the lawn....

pajama pants and a white button up shirt??

old pic found on a disposable camera

Funny Quote of yesterday:
My mother: There are a lo-o-o-ot of sick people at the hospital lately...

haha
well, *I* thought it was funny anyway!

By the way, I Heart Huckabees=the weirdest movie I have seen in a long time. All about existentialism and angst. Destroy, Create, Destroy, Create.... "When you get the blanket thing you can relax because everything you could ever want or be you already have and are. "

an existential detective is a sleuth who snoops in order to solve life's great philosophical mysteries.

should you deconstruct your life no matter what the outcome is (pain, confusion, who am I {How am I not myself...} losing your family, job, purpose in life...) we will always be drawn back into the human drama, but in between should we try to see what IS and really be awake and aware, or continue to be shells preforming shallow routines... hmmm.... this movie says Watch, Learn, Think

This movie would have been better if it was made by Charlie Kaufman, my idol.

P.S. sex in a mud puddle, NOT SEXY.

i am a grown up

Not much to tell this weekend, it was pretty uneventful, except for Saturday when I found out there is not much better then a friend showing up at your house with vegetable korma, naan, and mango lassi from House of India (GO THERE, YOU WONT BE SORRY- SNOWDEN RIVER PKWY. CALL ME, I WILL GO WITH YOU!) and a movie (Mean Creek, not that good) at 8:00 at night when you are starving! and Sunday had its own hour or two of private bliss. Also, I finally ate at Ding How in Fells Point, instead of just walking by it and saying, 'DING haaaaaaoooooo' like I have been for years!

Today I did all sorts of 'grown up' stuff like send off my resume to that job at United Way that I am underqualified for, although the resume makes me sound like the bomb shabizzle. I also coordinated and ran a meeting, and skipped out for a 2 hour lunch at a Vietnamese joint called 'Pho Dat Thang' (which, if you say it right, sounds like Ebonics for -- I dunno what!)

anyway, I wonder if an hour or so of blissful happiness on a Sunday can carry over and make a whole week happy? I'll let you know at the end of the week :P
weird how good things can make you happy and scared at the same time.

So this was my weird dream. Its weird because it had ex coworkers in it and stuff.
I can't remember most of it anymore, I should have written this in the morning!

Well, I know that in one part I was at a bulk foods store like BJ's with Mike B. and he was doing the shopping, and being weird and spazzy. Then we went outside, and Shannon was there in a brand new truck, it was huge and shiny and new. I was playing a game where I was throwing cans across the parking lot to see if I could hit it, or land them in the cab or something, but then I could tell by Kelly's face that it wasn't funny (since it was a brand new truck!).

Also there was a part where the car in front of me got pulled over, so I had to stop too because it was blocking traffic. An old man stepped out, about 70, he was naked, and they started making him go through the motions of a sobriety test. It was at night, and they had the spotlight on him. He passed them all fine, until they got to the part with putting your hands out and touching your nose. He couldn't do it, he tried cheating by moving his arm real quick and turning his head to the side. Then he just looked down and admitted to being drunk. The cop said, 'how long have you been drinking?' (meaning, how long that night) and the old man hung his head down and said, 'since I was 16'. I think it was Victor in the future, isn't that so weird? Why was he naked?

There was also a part where Dave asked me my opinion about what he could buy Shannon that was really expensive and make her happy, but I could tell by looking at Shannon that she was bored with the relationship and ready to move on, at least subconsciously. I could tell that Dave must have had an inkling about it and that's why he wanted to really impress her. When I looked at her face sitting in the truck, I knew it was over.

J.W.'s: why am I dreaming about you guys! get out of my head!!

pho' shizzle

The Disco Dolls in ‘Hot Skin’ - Boogie in 3-D!

So, this is where everyone should be this Saturday night at midnight:
Disco Dolls in Hot Skin, Starring John Holmes
Fri & Sat Midnight Movies at the E Street Cinema!

How does one rate a "movie" like this? It's not sexy, the acting is terrible and the writing/direction are non-existent. The plot is impossible to follow, and the only attractive woman in the film spends most of her time making it with the ugliest dude. But it's an adult film in 3-D. And that's funny.

Joke of the day:
Why do mice have small balls?

Not that many know how to dance.

Link of the day:
http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=scare

Photo of the day:

P.S. I have a homeless hairy houseguest this weekend, yay! (and its not John Holmes).

Let me in, I want a BK Veggie Burger too!

behold the lineup

Coldplay Widespread Panic Oasis The Black Crowes The Allman Brothers Band Wilco Jimmy Cliff Robert Randolph & The Family Band Lyle Lovett & his Large Band John Prine Lucinda Williams Buddy Guy Jet Dierks Bentley Thievery Corporation Arcade Fire Death Cab for Cutie Bob Mould Built to Spill

Bloc Party Steve Earle & The Dukes Franz Ferdinand Gov't Mule Sleater-Kinney Kasabian Zap Mama Robert Earl Keen Keane Tortoise Doves The Black Keys Leo Kottke Mike Gordon The Walkmen Jason Mraz Rilo Kiley Spoon The Secret Machines The Decemberists

....and more! http://www.aclfestival.com/

sideways

So, to counter that last posting about how loverly Baltimore is, I wish I had pictures of Sunday night in Canton Square. Walking there was a safari of giant bugs waddling around fatly on the sidewalk, a terrifying thing to navigate in sparkly open-toed shoes (that were designed by Satan, the foot hater).

They looked kind of like this

Then, upon turning the corner to the main strip, we were suddenly accosted by 'drunk-beyond-comprehension' dude, who looks about 19 and is so wasted that its a wonder he's standing. He is yelling something incomprehensible while crossing the street towards us, and as I (selfishly) take a few fast steps so that I'm not in the back of our group, leaving the guy I was talking to behind, super-drunk kid wraps his arm around the poor guy's neck as if they are best buddies and is yelling other drunken incomprehensible things. Next, 'cute-girl-who-wouldn't-give-most-guys-the-time-of-day because they aren't good enough for her', in cute outfit, projectile vomiting all over the sidewalk in front of us. Ahhh Baltimore, in league with Venice, the south of France, Honolulu, the Caribbean, the Cayman Islands....

Not that it was a bad time, once we ducked into a thankfully not over-crowded Nacho Mammas for some delish strawberry margaritas.

What I did this weekend

A better story by far was my weekend trip to the wine festival! Aside from the wonderfulness of missing the rainstorm, getting in free, and the lovely ride down there in a fast BMW with the sunroof open and winding country roads through wine country, we had the following zen moment, while standing with my 11 yr old and conversing with a friend who had been there for 4 hours and obviously taking advantage of the copious wine (read: very drunk):

Victor: So then this little white dog was running towards us through traffic down eastern ave. with his owner chasing him, begging us to help him catch the dog before it gets hit. So, Shirley dives for the dog but misses, and I take off after it around the corner...

Paul Giamatti(name changed to protect identity): And then did you mount it? Did you do baaaad things to it?

*shocked look on everyone's faces*

I hope Cody thought he meant like, *kicking* it or something!

---

What I learned this weekend: if you don't know what felching is, DONT FIND OUT.

---

Also, honorable mention to V for whipping up an awesome marinade on the fly and producing a marvelous plate of grilled vegetables for me at the meat-only party. It was yummmmm. He takes care of me :)
Plus a bowl of fresh blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries and I'm in ecstasy.
It doesn't take much.
Also, Mango Lassi + Paratha + Victor = mouth heaven.
If you don't know what Paratha is, I feel sorry for you. :P