Tuesday, January 31, 2006

gym TV is my favorite

Today before I went to the gym, V told me he was reading an article written by some blonde stripper volleyball player or something, who said you should think of exercise as maintenance, something you do every day, like making your bed. After exercising I decided a better metaphor is like, cleaning your gutters, or scrubbing the toilets.
Just kidding, it really wasn't bad, especially since Scrubs came on which I have missed for an entire season or more. Watching it totally made 30 minutes of cardio completely painless. Seriously.

Ok here's why I love the internet. I was doing a search for a picture from Scrubs and came across this rather entertaining and bizarre site. Of course I wouldn't encourage anyone to waste company time, so when you have some free time at home, be sure to check it out and you MUST click through the long-term members sections.

the grudge

Yoko - Don't feel bad for her. She deserved it for breaking up the Beatles.
Well last night I saw the Grudge, barely any plot to hold it together but still kind of freaky. Also V cooked me a really good veg. curry with some indian and egyptian spices in it. yum so good and i have leftovers for lunch!

He's so sweet, when I hear about other people's crappy boyfriends and crappy relationships, I feel very lucky to have him. He bought me flowers the other day for no reason, when we went to see Capote which he only saw for me, because that is a movie he would never pick. Hopefully he doesn't screw up Valentines day by thinking its too big of a hassle !! just kiddin' V

Sometimes I wish that people would have the balls to do the things I suggest. Like today at work, my supervisor and I were conducting a phone interview with a freelancer. She asked me how I think it should go. I told her I think we should ask him which flavor ice cream he prefers, chocolate or vanilla. Then he will say, 'uh, heheh.. seriously? um, vanilla i guess' then WE say, 'oooh, hmmm. I'm sorry, I don't think this is going to work out.'
Then, we hang up.

Then we wait 5 minutes, call back and say, "just kidding", and have the real interview.

Ok, its not that funny, but it would make the day ever so slightly more interesting, wouldn't it? for us and for him.
we didn't do it. because, life is boring.

Monday, January 30, 2006



dismantle the wall, brick by brick, find the key to unlock the door, tread through the field of long weeds like arms holding you back, find a safe, pick the lock, inside is a heart in a protective bubble of plastic with duct tape around it for reinforcement. Pull out your scalpel, slice the plastic coating (ever so gently) peel it back, and reveal the throbbing, delicate, intricate and tiny bundle of muscle and veins, ventricles and tissue, soft and tender as veal, fragile and helpless as a premature baby, a caterpillar taken out of its cocoon too soon...

being thus exposed, even the gentlest breeze can cause pain, even the thought of the potential for damage makes it cringe, this most delicate of organs.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

crisis over

Had a great weekend so far, that went a long way towards cheering me up. Not that I've been in a bad mood exactly, just feeling kind of off for a couple of days. Partly work stress, partly introspection, partly hormones. Spent the weekend in Baltimore chillin', eating Tapas in Fells Point with Jolene and Mohammad, I always have fun with those guys. However, lately I can't seem to have one conversation without relationships coming up, but, whatever. Its good to talk about because it helps you solidify your opinions or discover new ones that you didn't even realize you had.

Shopped around town on Sat. with V and enjoyed the glorious weather, got some supplies for a butternut squash curry that I can be excited about later on this week, then met up with Monica to see Matador, which we all really enjoyed. Despite the broken chair episode, and the weird guy in the row ahead of us who kept making a noise like, 'hububububub' intermittently.

Quote of the day:
'I felt bad for Peirce Brosnan in the movie. He was so lonely, didn't have any friends or a home, no one to love, only whores to sleep with...'

'what do you mean, that sounds awesome, assasin for hire, traveling around the world, sleeping with beautiful women?'


Friday, January 27, 2006

feeling fragile

I guess I'm just being a hormonal girl, or maybe there are repressed feelings and concerns lurking, but for the past couple of days I have been feeling kind of fragile. Like I'm standing on an unstable platform over a deep chasm. I've got a pretty good foothold, but the platform is wobbling occasionally, and I can look down into the hole... its deep, and dark, and empty, and there's no one to catch me if I fall. I don't know if the things I am thinking about lately are causing me to feel this way, or if my hormonalness is causing me to think about those things.

Its hard being a girl. Stupid hormones. I hate them.

I read an article this morning about living in the Now and how its the only way to enjoy life. That most people spend all of their mental energy living in the past and future, basically regretting decisions or indecisions of the past, and planning/worrying about the future. And I realized its true, I am the happiest when I am focused on the Now.

I really want some sushi from Kawasaki in Fells Point tonight, but I don't think its going to happen. :(

Thursday, January 26, 2006

its a mad mad mad mad mad mad world

On a similar note, here's a blast from the past

How much do you
love your family?

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

corny mom sh*t

Your future president?
I guess its just me because I am a mom but, I found this in a document entitled 'Cody's job list' on my computer, and I think its the cutest thing ever. Not sure how old it is.

Cody's Job List
computer animation
book writer
world class martial artist and teacher
advanced robotics ( builds AI and robots)
car and vehicle expert
government agent(spy)
charlies angels job
charlies job
computer software and development expert(computer expert)
military and armed forces
intelligence agency
video game designer
special effects

Monday, January 23, 2006

and I said what about breakfast at tiffanys... No thanks, I don't eat anymore.

On Sunday at dinner I told Drew, 'I think you look a little too skinny'

You could see her face light up as if it was the ultimate compliment.

She told me that her grandmother asked her if a boy has bought her something from Tiffany's yet. She responded, 'no not yet.' Her grandmother said, 'its good that you lost a little weight, now they will.'




this is what she looked like before she lost some weight.

what is wrong with that grandmother!

what is wrong with the world!

do you have to be emaciated to be special enough for your boyfriend to buy you something from Tiffany & Co.?

why is she wearing my shirt !

Sunday, January 22, 2006

i like soy milk anyway.

One thing that came up in a conversation this morning is the saying, 'why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free'

Now, while that may be true, its really too simplistic. First of all, the cow may not want to be bought. Once the farmer owns the cow, he might not milk her so sweetly, he might take her for granted since she's always around, he will probably expect her to plow the field as well as giving milk. Second and perhaps most important of all, does the cow really want the farmer to buy her because she's holding out on him? I mean doesn't she want him to buy her because he loves her and will take good care of her, always putting her first, and wants to spend the rest of his life with her? I don't think the cow should consider letting the farmer buy her unless she is sure he loves her. Because, milk isn't everything. Well, chocolate milk maybe...

Anyway I was saying, that saying is only applicable to women with an agenda. An agenda like, Land a Husband. Which implies, presumably for monetary gain, a woman has a plan to get a certain guy to propose, and goes about trying to coerce him to do this with different tricks and psychological tactics, or even flat out pressure and threats. I guess they call that 'playing the game' and some say that men need to be forced to settle down, but something about it strikes me as gross. Maybe I'm a romantic and not a realist, maybe I'm living in fantasy la-la-land, but I don't want a man to ask to marry me because I fought off all of the competition, embedded some subconcious pushes, told his friends just the right thing to get them to try to talk him into it, have an ultimatum, or whatever. I want it to be the clear and only path for that man. Unquestionable. Love, not tricks. Love, not fear of being alone. Love, not 'crap i'm getting old, i better marry someone'. Love, not familial pressure. Love love love.

Am I being naive?

So, when asked whether or not I have an agenda, I can with a clear concience say, no, I don't. Or, my agenda is to be happy and try to make others happy, and I plan (hope to have the balls) to follow whatever path that seems the most likely to bring those results, in an open and honest way. Isn't it OK to not have an agenda, a.k.a. conniving girl-plan?

The moral of the story is, LOVE YOUR COW.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

no comment

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I was having a conversation today where someone told me that pretty much the worst last name he could think of was 'Heffernan.' Not so, I challenge that assertion with THIS as proof. aHA.

Or what if your name was....

Or how about this!

In other important info for anyone out there who is married or living together, studies show that TV in the bedroom halves your sex life

Warning: Only click this link if you don't find manboobs disturbing. Kiddies, get your mommy's permission before visiting this manbooblicious site.

6:16 am wakeup is my worst nightmare

Ack, parent-teacher conference this morning at 7 frickin 15 in the morning. Time to go try to pretend like I'm actually a grown-up...

but my baby gets home today, I missed him so much yay!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

How band-smart are you?

If you are bored, excercise your musical muscles: Click on this picture (to enlarge) and try to name as many of the bands as you can. There are 72.

Wish I could quit you

Last night I saw Brokeback Mountain with Mo, (the only guy I know comfortable enough with his sexuality to see that movie!). I liked it a lot. Heath Ledger was really good at pretending to be a quiet, tight-lipped Wyoming cowboy type even though he's really an australian heartthrob or something. There wasn't much gay sex in it, really just one short scene, in a tent, in the dark. Anyway its about time, how may movies have there been with two hot chicks making out? When the wife found out... I don't know, it was kind of realistic, her reaction, you could imagine what she was feeling...The cinematography was beautiful, the whole thing was well made. There was a moment in the beginning when I was longing for that kind of life, when they showed Jake Gyllenhall sitting on the darkening mountainside surrounded by mountain peaks and valleys, smoking a cigarette, nothing else to do, nothing else that needs to be done. Sometimes I long for that simplicity, no computers, TVs, fast cars, multitude of distractions and responsibilities that keep your life going at a breakneck pace without having a chance to exhale...


I just spent $500 signing up the kids to football, I still owe $200 from thier karate belt test, $100 for this month's guitar lessons.... I feel like I've sprung a leak.

I talked to V last night, he is having a great time filled with going out to clubs, pools with waterfalls and waterslides, ocean kayaking, emceeing a party, exploring the island, etc. etc. while we are all here going to work and freezing our butts off. My friends kept asking me if he was going to bring me back something really nice since I didn't get to go... Angie kept saying, 'yeah, a raging case of the clap!'


Monday, January 16, 2006


So, I think my sister is a drug addict, but there's really nothing I can do about it. I feel like I've been 'saving' her non-stop since she was 11, but obviously my vigilance and concern have been useless. I mean, I guess things could be worse by now, but I'm sure they will get there because she doesn't care, about her life, about herself. Maybe she is hoping she will accidentally die so she doesn't have to worry about the painful parts of living anymore. Maybe she is trying to escape from an unhappy reality, and thinks nothing bad will ever happen to her. Maybe she is just an addict and can't help it. All I know is I can't ever believe what she says, she is a very good bullshitter. And that the more I think about her boyfriend being an enabler, the more I want to wring his neck, because while she is an adult making adult decisions, and had a problem long before she met him, I feel that if he cared one iota about her he would try to stop her. Its really hard to worry this much and not be able to do *anything* about it. Because in the end, the choices we make are ours alone. Unfortunately when someone makes selfish self-destructive choices, it will be up to the rest of us to live with it and pick up the peices.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

I will not eat them in a house, I will not eat them with a mouse

Freaky Franks:
I wish I thought of this. My favorite is chocolate syrup and barbie doll heads.

Green Eggs and (glow in the dark) Ham

In the famous words of Monty Python, and now for something completely different. In recent headline news, scientists have now created genetically modified glow in the dark pigs-- hint hint, birthday present! Read the article. Yes, this is for real. Yes, this serves no scientific purpose other then, "Cool! Curing cancer can wait. We made glowing pigs! High five!"

Almost Famous

As an aside, if you do a search on MSN.com for 'Spider Girl', this blog comes up as the second choice! Does this mean I am famous?? No, it means MSN is a suck-ass search engine!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

are you hungry?

click me!

click me!

So, this is how we decide what to eat for lunch here at INFORMS, via paper airplane communication. Click on side one or two to enlarge. I'm sure you will agree its the most efficient and to the point route for two people sitting in the same office to discuss such an important subject.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Never yell 'Dead hooker!' at a work function

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


Top 30 er...different... Celebrity Baby Names

1. Moon Unit; Frank/Gail Zappa
2. Fifi Trixibelle; Paula Yates/Bob Geldof
3. Satchel; Mia Farrow/Woody Allen
4. Apple; Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin
5. Daisy Boo and Poppy Honey; Julia/Jamie Oliver
6. Rumer; Demi Moore/Bruce Willis
7. Peaches; Paula Yates/Bob Geldof
8. River; Arlyn/John Phoenix
9. Rocco; Madonna/Guy Ritchie
10. Nell Marmalade; Helen Baxendale/David Eliot
11. Maddox; Angelina Jolie
12. Tiger Lily Heavenly Hirani; Paula Yates/Michael Hutchence
13. Dweezil, Moon Unit, Diva Muffin; Frank/Gail Zappa
14. Kal-el Coppola; Nicolas Cage & Alice Kim (named after Superman's name on his home planet!)
15. Dog; Sky Saxon
16. Zowie; Angie/David Bowie (Zowie Bowie?? this kid now goes by 'Duncan Jones')
17. Rolan; Gloria Jones/Marc Bolan (Rolan Bolan?? thats just mean)
18. Phoenix Chi ; Mel C/Jimmy Gulzar
19. Coco; Courtney Cox/David Arquette
20. Dixie Dot and Bibi Belle; Anna Ryder Richardson
21. Moxie Crimefighter; Penn & Emily Jillette
22. Draven; Chester Bennington (Linkin Park) (Named after Eric Draven, the character played by the late Brandon Lee in the movie "The Crow").
23. Jermajesty; Jermain Jackson
24. Dukey; Belinda Carlisle (Dukey?? for real??)
25. Dream And Story Lumpkin; Ginuwine And Sole
26. Dusty Rain; Vanilla Ice
27. Elijah Bob Patricus Guggi Q; Bono
28. Crumpet ; Lisa Vidal and Jay Cohen
29. Audio Science; Shannyn Sossaman and Dallas Clayton
30. Pilot Inspektor; Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf

Vote! Which is the worst? Best?

Whats the worst name of someone you've met?
What would you name your son/daughter?

Monday, January 09, 2006

Cute fuzzy mouse 1, Stupid evil man 0

Burning Mouse Ignites Blaze That Destroys Home
5:19 pm EST January 8, 2006

FORT SUMNER, N.M. -- The village fire captain said he's never seen a blaze as unique as this.
A Fort Sumner, N.M., man said he caught a mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it. He had a pile of leaves burning outside, so he threw the mouse on it. The mouse caught fire and ran back into the house.

Luciano Mares, talked about the event Saturday from a motel room. The blaze the mouse started destroyed the home and everything inside it.

Only play this if you are REALLY BORED (don't say I didn't warn you)
The Potato Game

Cyclopes Kitten
I wish it lived longer, but only for selfish reasons like I wanted to see freak kitty try to walk around and grow into freak cat. That is just sick and wrong. What is wrong with me??!

To make up for the potato game, this I actually like.
Pulp Fiction, in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

no fair


So, yesterday was so totally no fair.

On Friday, I picked up my perscription at Safeway. When I got back to work, I noticed they gave me the wrong perscription (an old one from months ago.) I immediately called, and Tony, the f*ckhole behind the counter, basically said it was my fault and they can't take the medicine back because of tampering laws, and if I wanted my real perscription I would have to pay an additional $60 copay to pick it up. Which is just ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that when I picked it up, I said to the lady, "this doesn't look like my perscription" to which she replied, "yeah, they changed the packaging."

Anyway I argued with the guy on the phone for a while, finally saying, "Ok, I can see that you can't help me, so can you transfer me to someone who can?" He tried to ignore me and kept saying, "We can't take it back, there's nothing we can do, it was your error" and not even being nice about it. Finally I got him to transefer me to the store manager, who didn't pick up his extention (maybe he transferred me to the annoying customer line, which rings in some empty office!) Anyway V called me while this was happening, and could clearly tell I was upset, and knight in shining armor that he is, (and a little bit of me whining about how I hate confrontation and am very bad at it!) he offered to come with me on Saturday to try to work it out in person. We got our story straight about why its their fault and how even if it wasn't their fault they still better exchange it, and what to say (er, threaten) if they still didn't cooperate. Well, we walk in there, V ready for a battle, and me dreading the scene to come...

guess what happened.

The guy took one look at V and completely buckled!! No confrontation, no threats, no demands, he sort of started to look like he was going to argue, his lip started to quiver, and he just said, 'Ok, I'll just call and have your new perscription transferred to here and make the exchange. We'll think of this as a learning experience." And then he was tumbling over himself to please, all sh*t-eating grins and apologies for taking too long.

I couldn't beleive it, what the hell!??

Do I have 'walk all over me' written on my forehead? Do I sound like a pushover on the phone? Did V really look like he might jump over the counter and throttle the guy? Is it because I am a woman and he is a man?

No fair!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Poonting in Bangcock

Today I was sick and so was Jake, well actually he was faking it, but whatever I let him stay home cuz I'm cool that way. By the early evening I was feeling mostly Ok so when the ex showed up to take the kids to karate, I met Monica and Victor for sushi, Ong Bak:Muay Thai Warrior (really good movie about this guy, Poon Ting, with awesome fight sequences with Thailand as the backdrop, and not the cheesy floating magic fight scenes like Crouching Tiger or super-choreographed dancey-fighting, just awesome acrobatics and athletics) It was very fun. Then I came home and watched the end of the Texas/USC game, basically the superbowl of college football, with Ariella's friend Elise. Leo and Drew also showed up, Drew wants me to come see her in her modeling show at Sonar on Saturday. Texas was totally losing the whole time, then suddenly made a comeback and won the game in the final 19 seconds! There was also a pretty good run by USC where the dude did a front flip, and this one touchdown they got, the camera paned to the right and there were two Texas players, the ones who just tried to tackle the dude, lying with their faces in the dirt. Those were the highlights, for me anyway!

Here are some pics from my parents yearly Hanukkah party. V was invited but missed most of it being a 'mensch' and driving this crazy hypocondriac woman home to do her breathing treatment; she was going to drive herself home, but she looked like she might pass out at any moment! Yes, my b/f is a selfless hero. :) And here he is wearing his sister. er, a Yamekah.

So cute!

being silly on the stairs, trying to make the party bearable!

Karate chop action with the Kung-Fu grip?

Serious Hanukkah action, coming at you, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

funkmaster-b, pickled parrots, and jager trees

New Years was an exercise in slacking till the last minute but everything working out anyway, which like pavlov's dog, just reinforces my tendencies to drool when you ring the bell.

Its always stressful trying to figure out the best thing to do, the most fun, the most raucous and memorable event to attend, and usually disappointing in the end because of your high expectations. The cure? Low expectations and minimal planning!

It was like, one day before New Years and everyone was like, 'ugh, no plans, maybe we just won't go out this year'. Between all of my friends no consensus could be reached as to what to do... The Ravens Stadium event was just right for some, too expensive and high maintenance for others. Parties around town seemed like they might not be cool if you didn't know the people there. etc. etc. and for some odd reason, it seemed people were looking to me, the girl who can't decide what to eat for lunch, to make the final decision! So, the day before new years, at an awesome Thai lunch with V, I jokingly said, 'The only way to make everyone happy and get everyone down here is for your friend Brian Funk to have a party at his house."

So, V called him and ballsily (no its not a word, so what) made my half-joke blossom into reality by telling him, 'we decided the only solution to our new years dilemma is for you to have a party at your house and I'm bringing all my friends. The party will involve dinner and drinks. It will be at 6:30.'

And, cool cat that the funkmaster-B is, responded with 'ok, good idea!'

So, yay, everyone came down to the city for a candle-lit dinner party in Funk's awesomely beautiful rehabbed Canton house. After eating and hanging out and drinking some awesome frozen strawberry margaritas, we walked down the street to the Pickled Parrot (where they had a christmas tree made entirely of Jager bottles!) for the countdown and (draggingly long) fireworks. It was fun and not too stressful or high maintenance, not too much running around, etc., and all of my (local) friends were there, yay! It's a happy new years indeed and a great way to start off the year when you are surrounded by those you care about the most. (And everyone gets along. And nobody throws up. :P)

Monday, January 02, 2006


1. Fun new years, everyone came to the dinner party!
2. I join the cast of Extreme Makover
3. Hannukah party- er, same as usual
4. Brother is a lunatic
5. Just had awesome Thai
6. Went to the gym all week!! :)
7. Still fat :(
8. Back to work *sigh*