feeling fragile
I guess I'm just being a hormonal girl, or maybe there are repressed feelings and concerns lurking, but for the past couple of days I have been feeling kind of fragile. Like I'm standing on an unstable platform over a deep chasm. I've got a pretty good foothold, but the platform is wobbling occasionally, and I can look down into the hole... its deep, and dark, and empty, and there's no one to catch me if I fall. I don't know if the things I am thinking about lately are causing me to feel this way, or if my hormonalness is causing me to think about those things.Its hard being a girl. Stupid hormones. I hate them.
I read an article this morning about living in the Now and how its the only way to enjoy life. That most people spend all of their mental energy living in the past and future, basically regretting decisions or indecisions of the past, and planning/worrying about the future. And I realized its true, I am the happiest when I am focused on the Now.
I really want some sushi from Kawasaki in Fells Point tonight, but I don't think its going to happen. :(
posted by Evil Genius @ 3:57 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
yay for everyone being on the rag at once!! but hey, maybe i'm not so crazy? maybe you're starting to see that maybe i'm not so miserable because my past has been fairly lame and most people would consider it regretable. and maybe i'm not so sad because i don't have a future planned out and fretted over. i'm pretty fucking happy in the 'now'. I am an expert in the 'now'. Hey, i should coin a new term and call myself a Nowist. It sounds a bit like Taoist so it's kind of catchy. if i think too much about stuff i can't control very well, like the past or the future, that's when i get really depressed. 'NOW' is the ONLY thing you have almost complete control over. I mean just think, you could die any second! When you die and your life is flashing before your eyes, will you regret it and feel that it is unfinished? if you really think about it, no, you wouldn't. And if you really think about it, isn't the now the only thing that is real? i think about this stuff a lot. sorry.
ohhhh :( *hugs!*
i'm here for ya sista! always will be! you're the best!
ps- i know thats not very deep and doesn't really address the issue, but its only 9:38 in the morning! maybe ill comment more when my brain defrosts :-p anyways, you aren't alone - lemme know if i can help!
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