are you reading my diary???

well no one commented on my boring placeholder-don't-stop-reading-my-blog blogs, but now everyone is like, why arent you blogging?
Ok so here is my blog, though it will be short and sweet because its late and I had a crazy insane busy day. Very productive though!
Ok, in summary, where to begin, ok so my boyfriend planned a trip to Jamaica with his friends and, though i suggested it as an idea, I had a meltdown freakout because it came to represent to me the going-nowhereness of our relationship, and the 'I want to be single and party-ness' side of V which is in opposition to his 'family is the most important thing' motto. At the same time, I found a house that is in a convenient location and that I could live in and that isn't overly expensive (relative to the area!) and was thinking about putting an offer on it - which represents to me 'moving forward with my single life and away from anything serious with V'.

Those two things together caused me to freak out because, I love him and have never loved any man like this before. You can't take something like that lightly or for granted. So, each of us taking those steps away from eachother really upset me. In some ways this whole 'crisis' has brought us much closer together, but in some ways... I feel that, we can pretend that this doesn't mean this and that doesn't mean that, but in the end, well it probably does.

Well, for now, we will pretend away happily in lovey San Diego! suckas!