the worst part of being a mother is...

the worst noise to wake up to at 2 am (after already waking up at 1 am to your co2/smoke detector repeating the mantra 'BLING! Batteries are low..........BLING!! Batteries are low....' and realizing the only way this is going to end is if you haul yourself out of your warm bed into the darkness and find a ladder? chair? balance yourself precariously on it on the landing above a treacherous set of stairs and risk your life) -- is this noise, instantly recognizable even in a hazy groggy 2am fog:

"Mooooom...." **SPLAT!**
"Mooommmmm........" **SPLATTER!**

I promise you this sound bodes only something dreadful.

When I wasn't a single mother, the one task I refused adamantly to take on was cleaning up vomit. I just couldn't take it. The smell, the sound, the look of it, worse then any diaper, worse then any dirty dish or any toilet that needed to be cleaned... I just didn't have the fortitude to deal with it. Well, becoming a single mother gives you the fortitude to deal with all kinds of things you never imagined. For example, I am terrified of spiders. But you wouldn't know it if you came to visit my house- I am the queen of the Spider Capture-and-release Program. And, in fact, though it is probably second on my "worst things" list (immediately below number one: actually vomiting myself), I am actually capable of cleaning vomit off of the floor at 2 am without vomiting myself! Although it does take sheer willpower not to just cover the putrid reeking mess with a towel and pray it somehow dissapears! Although it took an entire roll of paper towels, two manic handwashing episodes, and 5 retreats to gasp frantically for fresh air!

And the best part of being a mother?
"I'm so, so sorry about waking you up at 2 in the morning!"
"Thats ok, I'm sorry you had to throw up."
"Don't be sorry, its not your fault! I'll try not to wake you up again unless I have to."

wow. if only i could be that selfless when i feel like crap. its an amazing feeling actually being able to look up to your own kids.

last weekend V and I spent the weekend bonding over matching barf trashcans. I was the first to feel sick. I was thinking, "I'd rather be dead then feel like this." V said one of the sweetest things ever,
"If I could take your illness away and be sick instead of you I would."

My response?
"Really? wow I was thinking, if I could give this illness to 10 other people in trade for instantly feeling better, I would."

just being honest here! I am a bad person!