Ok fine a serious post
Its so much more pleasant writing about the good happy things and ignoring the sad or horrible. I used to always get a yearly Christmas letter from the mother of my first best friend Kathy Hardigen. It was the same typed letter they sent out to all of their acquaintances. It made their lives sound so wonderful and joyful and positive, so Norman Rockwell. All lies. Well, not lies exactly, but basically skating over the surface of reality, only revealing the thin ice forming a delicate veil over the dark and murky waters below. Such is the face shown to the world by most people. Smiling, nodding, how are the kids, how are you doing, fine, just fine. Its kind of disturbing, kind of odd living among lies and deceptions, and potentially harmful, when it causes you to feel as though everyone's marriage/kids/job/family/life is great and you are the only one with problems. Well let me tell you, its not so. Sometimes the people with the prettiest and most cleverly crafted facades are hiding the worst secrets.
Well that was more melodramatic then I intended, but anyway, my last posting was criticized as being silly and meaningless so this time I am going to talk about something real. This is what I have to live with and interact with and have as a strong influence and role model for my kids forevermore:
Two things that happened in the recent past with my ex are the following. Kids and their dad go to the mall to pick up a videogame. Working there is 22 yr old ex roommate of mine and friend of my sisters. He offers her $10 to flash him. He has known her since she was 10 or 11 yrs old. I pray the kids were out of earshot.
Yesterday I am pretty sure I overheard him whispering to one of the kids about a secret way to have a TV in his room, which I have forbidden, that I wouldn't be able to find out about because it would be camouflaged and the plaster of the walls will be thick enough to mask the sound.
There are worse fathers, those who don't care at all, molesters, alcoholics, abusers... This is how I try to make myself feel better. I hope and pray that my efforts can counter at least *some* of the effects of his on their growing and developing minds. The guilt comes when I realize there is no way to counter all of them.
posted by Evil Genius @ 10:34 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
it wasn't $10, it was $100
Take heart. Studies show that parents have absolutely no effect on their kids. While kids to tend to turn out like their parents, it turns out this is true even if the kids are adopted and not raised by their parents. Peers have a big effect, though, so choose your kids' friends for them, if you can.
i'm depressed now. sometimes i want to just put B in a chair and do bad things to him for being so dumb! wat a poophead!
my guess he is trying to be "the cool dad" and make you the bad cop mom. fortunately, i think that while the kids might think some of his stuff is cool i think that they know what is wrong to do, what seems innapropriate, and what it means to respect you. trust in your skills mamma! you are the fiercest mother i know
I told you to stop writing crap about me on your site. I really have issues with it. And on top of that, you know my sense of humor and until you can stop being so self ritious about everyone around you and start actually being a mother to the kids then you have no right to criticize anyone. There have been countless times that I have had to make up for your inability to be there for the kids and then got reamed about it by you when you were'nt happy with the outcome. Lay off. And take this crap down!!!!! Monica you should stop talking crap when all you hear is from Shirley and all you know is her opinion. Until you are the parent of kids and dealing with a bitter x then you have no right to comment.
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