how to - get as little done as possible at work

i have uncovered a new resource for slacking.
Its called 'WikiHow'
Topics range from silly to useful. Some examples include:

How to How to Be a Good Parent
How to Dress Kinderwhore, Like Courtney Love
How to Teach a Dog to Tell You when He Wants to Go Outside
How to Ignore Valentine's Day without Getting Sent to the Dog House
How to Be a Supporting and Loving Stepmother
How to Make Water in the Desert

In other news, Vince Vaughn pitched a Speed Racer movie to the makers of the Matrix. Who does he want to play? You might ask. Oh yes, Racer X.
I'll want to see it so long as Tom Cruise isn't Speed.

This weekend I dropped a cast iron pan on my toe and felt like the looney tunes cartoons when someone drops an anvil on their big toe and the toe quadruples in size and turns bright red and throbs visibly and everyone laughs. I will never laugh again, oh no, this I promise you, Fred Flinstone.

Also at a family BBQ, I had a very sitcom moment when V's stepmother directly confronted us with the dreaded, 'So, when are you two getting married?' and wouldn't let up! I know that whenever I refer to TV like this: 'But on Friends, ______' the reaction I tend to get is, 'That's TV, not real life!' But to all of those naysayers, I have definitely seen the scenario I just described on several sitcoms!