all good things must come to an end: human nature?
The other day I was talking to my sister about relationships, after she had a fight with her b/f. She fears her relationship turning into what she calls, 'Ima and Aba's relationship' (That's 'mom and dad' to you unilinguals!) - basically, becoming roomates who are sort of working together to a common goal, a marriage sans fun, romance, companionship, courtship, spontinaety, etc.Probably everyone has experienced this on some level, in past relationships-- first everything is happiness and doing little things to make the other person happy, gifts, trips, going to the theatre, flowers, compliments, hugs, backrubs, cooking dinner together, talking about your day, your ideas, trying to make the other person laugh...next thing you know, cooking dinner is a chore you do to feed the other person, no longer done in the fun, working together way, now a source of irritation (why do i always have to cook, i work full time too, no one appreciates me!), he's on the computer for hours, you start going to bed at different times, the sight of her dirty dishes in the sink or his socks on the floor causing a feeling of disgust that overshadows any urge to cuddle on the couch with him while he watches the game, or rub her feet at the end of the day...this in my opinion is the beginning of the end.
At this point, dissatisfaction with the relationship sets in and it goes one of two ways: the distance grows, arguments become more frequent and heated, this creates an even bigger distance, culminating in eventual break-up (or cheating) to find someone who seems to be able to give them what they miss and crave in their existing relationship, OR the scenario more common with people with young children: both parties come to terms with the way things are, but stay together out of a sense of duty and/or convenience and laziness/fear of change, sort of doing their own thing and trying to make it work at least on a partnership/not arguing on a daily basis level.
So, is this inevitable??
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Eminem Music Allegedly Used As U.S. Torture Device haha
On a lighter note, these are classics:
posted by Evil Genius @ 11:15 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Cool Blog.. It's an interesting read
Er, has it happened to you and Veektor?
OMG hahhaha i totally hope we get a huge snowstorm this winter so we can make protesting snowpeople! :-p hahhaha DOWN WITH BUSH!
PS - ur ima and aba (i'm an edumacated gentile haha) go on dates! I don't think its as bad as it sounds - at least for them. I do know that feeling of total disgust with someone though! its so bad! anyways, no, i don't think that its inevitible. relationships, like life, are what you make of them!
see the thing is though that it is inevitable that your pattern will fall into this pathetic way eventually. the problem is when you don't address it before it becomes unbearable. we have fixed our problem for now. Fights are horrible, fights are angry and hurtful, and fights are pointless, unless the fights brings about some sort of agreement on both parties sides to compromise on how to better the situation, instead of just focusing on what is bad and what is wrong. so it's ok but you can't avoid slumps in the long term. if people can't stick to their comprimises, then you have a real problem.
Please stop talking about my parents that way, as people with actual feelings. It's just unnatural.
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