Here's the cool thing about turning 30 though: nothing.

30 MEANS:
YOU ARE NOW A GROWN-UP
(NEVER GROW UP!!!! THATS THE SECRET!!!)
What to do.
I thought about not celebrating my birthday this year. Then that started to seem lame, but I couldn't think of anything really impressive to do on short notice, and if you are going to celebrate the big 3-0 it seems a blow-out is in order. So, I asked Kevin what he likes to do on his birthday. He said, "Something involving friends, getting wasted, and a booty call." haha. Then he admitted, "Sitting home, alone, in the dark, getting wasted, thinking about how another year has gone by and what have I done with my life..." I had trouble listening to the end of that, because I was too busy steering the car into an oncoming tractor trailer, on purpose. True story.

How I feel.
This is the suck.

But really.
I'm not that upset. How would being upset help anyway? I'll still be 3 decades old *gulp*. Anyway...
I've survived a tumultuous youth where I was wild, and miserable, sometimes suicidal, usually making the worst decisions possible, not even wondering what 30 would be like because I didn't even consider that I would make it that far. Dropping out of school, experimenting with illicit substances, dating criminals, running away from home, pregnant at 17... I may not be exactly where I want to be, but to think that since then I've: reconciled with my family, quit smoking, graduated college, paid off my student loans, have done what I think is a pretty satisfactory job so far of raising 2 kids, left an unhealthy relationship, gotten a job doing something I love and where I can be my (very goofy) self. I have great friends, a wonderful boyfriend, a supportive family that loves me (and who I actually like), money in my savings account, I'm healthy... well, thats pretty damn good isn't it?? I think its fan-freakin-tastic.

so, I guess today isn't armageddon after all! Sorry to dissapoint anyone who is expecting a suicidal blog posting!!

nevertheless.... so long, youth....

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Only read on if you are really bored. This is my 'Astrology summary'. Wonder how right-on it is, I can't be objective about myself.

How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others
Ferociously proud and somewhat vain, you like to be impressive and to be seen as Somebody Special. You are not timid, meek, or self-effacing, and are rarely content being in the background or in the subordinate position. You are a natural leader, and do not take orders from others very well. You must have something of your own, something creative - be it a business, a project, a home or whatever - that you can develop and manage according to your own will and vision. Whatever you do, you do it in a unique, dramatic, individual way. You like to put your own personal stamp on it.

The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
At heart you are modest and humble, and you rarely strive to be in the limelight or in a position of power. You have a sharp analytical mind, a keen eye for detail, and you prefer to observe, dissect, and study life from a distance. Conscientious and conservative, you can be relied upon to be careful, efficient, and thorough in your work and you take pride in doing a job well. What you may lack in self-confidence you often make up for in skill - developing expertise, technical knowledge, and competency in some specialized area. You are adept at using your hands to create or fix things, and meticulous attention to detail and careful craftsmanship are your forte. Some would say you are a little TOO meticulous, for you can be extremely critical and petty if everything is not done exactly as you think it should be, and you worry about things that other people consider trivial and unimportant. You like to organize, categorize, and arrange everything into a logical system, and you are often distinctly uncomfortable when something does not fit into a neat category. Disorganization vexes you. You probably wish that you were not such a perfectionist, for besides being a stickler for details, you can be mercilessly self-critical as well. Whether in your environment or in yourself, you tend to focus on the flaws, with a desire to improve, refine, and perfect. You are strictly factual, truthful, and scrupulously honest in your self-estimation, and you often do not give yourself enough praise or credit.