Spider Girl's Blizzogizzle

The Spirit Molecule

2010-02-04T13:44:00.005-05:00

Something you probably didn't know: There is a naturally occurring psychedelic drug found in the human body called DMT. Its natural function is undetermined, but it may be produced by the pineal gland and excreted during dreaming and right before death. Apparently it is also found in plants and animals and can be extracted and smoked in a crack pipe, but not eaten. Many people who have used this drug have experienced things they say can not be described with words, and often involve a feeling like ripping through the time/space continuum, out of this reality in an alternate ... universe? realm of perception? and seeing alien-like beings who often interact with the person.

Some call DMT the Spirit Molecule, I guess thinking that this process allows your spirit to separate from your body and enter another realm, which presumably according to this theory happens at death, but also nightly when you are dreaming. Interesting that scientists don't really know why if your body isn't allowed to dream, you go CRAZY and DIE (while rats normally live for two to three years, those deprived of REM sleep survive only about 5 weeks on average, and rats deprived of all sleep stages live only about 3 weeks.)!

Probably just drugs, but what if? ;)

Weird site of the day: Selleck Waterfall Sandwiches

Vote for Brown. He Has One Hell of a Stimulus Package.

2010-02-02T12:22:00.009-05:00

This is a photo of newly elected Massachusetts senator Scott Brown. And yes, he is nekked. Does anyone honestly think that if any female ran for senate that had posed naked as a centerfold model would be elected? And now there's talk about him running for prez one day. Well I guess if past alcoholism and drug use are OK for a president of the USA, why not porn?

All I'm saying, its not that there's necessarily anything wrong with the photo, it was taken way before his career even started, its just sickens me that any woman in the same exact situation would be shunned and ridiculed.

Scott Brown SNL Clip

Bluduh! BluddAH! No funyeee!

2010-01-31T17:11:00.004-05:00

I could watch this all day. Before this clip, the kid accidentally kicked the baby in the face while roughhousing on the bed, leading to the baby's mouth bleeding. The poor kid is like a foreigner in a foreign country trying desperately to communicate with the natives using his limited language skills, and not being able to get his extremely important message across.

Check out this photoshop contest called 'celebrities upside down images'
It'll make you feeeel weeeeird

AMAZING Vegetarian Etouffe

2010-01-31T00:00:00.012-05:00

What do you do on a snowy Saturday afternoon when the roads are so bad you can't leave the house? Well if you know someone with 4 wheel drive, he picks you up and takes you to the grocery store to buy the ingredients so he can make your very first vegetarian etouffee. Ever since the first time I heard someone order this at a bar 15 years ago, I knew I wanted to try it, but I never could, because it is usually crawling with insect carcasses, namely, SHRIMP, or CRAWFISH. gross. (No offense but, how do you people put that in your mouth!) Until now! For all of you vegetarians out there, or omnivores looking for something with no cholesterol, here is a recipe that is sure to wow you. Plus, you get to make a roux, and admit it, that just sounds cool. Enjoy! And believe me, you WILL enjoy.

(adapted from Ivy's Feast)
INGREDIENTS

1/2 cup Earth Balance butter spread
1/4 cup all purpose flour
2 cups chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
3/4 cup finely chopped celery
2 small chopped zucchini, dusted with the old bay seasoning
1 heaping tablespoon minced garlic
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 cups vegetarian chicken stock
2 bay leaves
1 Quorn Naked Chik'n Cutlet, 1/3 cup chopped seitan, 1 chopped Morningstar Farms Chick Patty
Sea Salt, cayenne pepper, freshly ground black pepper, paprika, old bay seasoning
Prepared brown basmati rice for serving (this rice takes 50 minutes to cook so start this first!)

Melt the Earth Balance in a large heavy bottomed pot over medium heat. Add the flour and cook, reduce heat to medium-low and cook, whisking nearly constantly until the roux is deep brown. This should take 25 minutes or so.

Add the tomato paste and vegetables except zucchini and saute until the onion is translucent, 8 minutes. Add the garlic and saute 45 seconds. Add the thyme, bay leaves and stock. Bring to a simmer over medium heat and cook for 20 minutes. Season with paprika, salt, cayenne, black pepper to taste (heavier on the black pepper, lighter on the salt).

Add the Quorn, seitan, chick pattie, and zucchini stir gently to combine. Simmer over medium heat until zucchini is tender. Serve with rice.

MAKE THIS. You will freak out, and you will eat it all in one sitting. We did!

Everyone has 15 min to kill on a Friday

2010-01-29T15:34:00.005-05:00

Need to kill some time at work? Looking for something to... look at? Perhaps you will disagree, but spend the next 15 min watching this cute video and try to admit it didn't make you feel a little good. But don't just watch part of it, watch it until the end. It may not be realistic, but its really cute! Comment what you thought of the movie, did it make you smile, or roll your eyes?

And now for my review of vegan stuffed mushrooms from the cookbook Vegan with a Vengeance:
VERY LEMONY! And now, I am going to mentally prepare for a weekend with a HIGH OF 23 degrees. Oh mother nature, you sure are a B sometimes! Oh well, thinking about a certain someone, we'll call him 'Rocky Balboa', running stairs and doing pull-ups on a pipe will warm me up a bit ;)

barefoot like hobbits

2010-01-28T16:29:00.014-05:00

I heard a story on NPR today about how it is better for us to run barefoot than with shoes on. A professor of human evolutionary biology found that those who wore shoes hit their heel against the ground with dangerous force, while those who ran barefoot had a springy step and landed towards the middle or front of the foot. Apparently barefoot runners use about 4 percent less oxygen than those wearing shoes, and they appear to naturally compensate for the lack of cushioning and land more softly than runners in shoes. It is associated with a substantially lower prevalence of acute injuries of the ankle and chronic injuries of the lower leg. Did you know that runners who wear cheap running shoes have fewer injuries than those wearing expensive trainers. Meanwhile, injuries plague 20 to 80 percent of regular runners every year (Wired).
a heel-first strike in a traditional running shoe (left) compared to a midfoot strike in Vibram FiveFingers (right). Video: Michael Lennon/Wired.com

I'm curious to try it, but then memories of elementary school come flooding back...

I frequently ran around barefoot back then, in the summertime, playing with other neighborhood kids. We would play sharks and minnows, flashlight tag, and make believe games where everyone wanted to be named 'Diana' and then later on 'John' (even the girls). Perhaps my memory exaggerates, but it seems like 3 out of every 5 times I ran down the road barefoot, I would stub my toe so badly that it was bleeding. I can think of some other reasons why barefoot running could be dangerous. Less injuries? I'm not so sure about that... Maybe will have to go for some minimalist footwear like Nike Free, the Newton All-Weather Trainer and the glove-like Vibram FiveFingers.

stealing hours

2010-01-27T16:36:00.004-05:00

Lately (thanks to a wonderful certain someone who found a park which is semi-local to my place of employment) I've been spending my lunch break embarking on these fun little mini-hikes. Its so invigorating to be out of my 4-wall prison for a while, getting exercise, fresh air, vitamin D, navigating the uneven terrain amongst the trees and fallen winter leaves in complete and utter peaceful seclusion. There's hardly ever a soul in site save the squirrels, birds, and white-tailed deer. *sigh*

I've tried taking walks during lunch in the past- I know its bad bad bad to sit in one spot in front of a computer for 8 hours barely moving. But, walking up and down the road smelling truck exhaust, and traversing the perimeters of the multitude of square, flat, paved parking lots surrounding my building always felt like a soulless exercise. Like when prisoners get their 'yard time' and, heads down, surrounded by guards with guns, are marched around and around the blacktop within the barbed wire fencing. OK so maybe I've seen too many movies, and really those prisoners are probably out there playing cards and basketball and stuff. But anyway, the point is, it was dreadful and tedious and felt like a chore that I was doing because I had to.

But not this. This feels like an escape, like I stole some time from the day and transported to another day, a Saturday, when my time is mine and I can just go explore the forest on a whim. By the time I'm done walking, I'm tired and happy and ready to go back and sit at my desk. I can't wait until spring when everything starts to turn green!

How did I ever live without this??

make new friends and keep the old

2010-01-25T20:56:00.006-05:00

On Facebook today someone posted this, which I liked:

It is chance moments which control our fate. Believe this vigorously as you stumble about in the darkness of this life. Walk with love and speak with care while thinking only the brightest of thoughts so that you may effect the future in the most positive of ways.

Mostly, I like the positive message. That we shouldn't let ourselves get bogged down in the dark mucky potential that we all have to be sad, depressed, angry, bitter, hurtful, hateful. Instead, tap the other capacity that we have of giving, understanding, love. Actively attempt to think joy, spread happiness, pay it forward, be the bigger person, work things out, forgive, compliment, lift up those around us and thus be lifted up ourselves. Let things go. Understand other people's perspectives. Trust. Be honest, but gently so. Give more than you expect to receive in return.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
-Plato

In less didactic news, 20 Worst Parenting Fails Caught on Camera

La Pequena Amy Winehouse

2010-01-22T23:29:00.004-05:00

I don't really even have words for this. Except maybe "what the..."

Think before you act: A story

2010-01-21T08:35:00.007-05:00

Found this fable on the interwebz:
A boy was constantly getting into trouble. His father told him from now on instead of punishing him every time he got into trouble he was going to put a big nail into the barn door, so he could see just how often he was bad. At first the boy liked it, NO PUNISHMENT WOO HOO! The nails started to add up. Soon every time he looked at the door with all the nails he would feel ashamed knowing everyone could see it too. He asked his father to go back to the old way. His father said from now on when you do something good I will remove a nail. The boy worked very hard at being good and when he was down to the last nail. the boy looked and saw all of the holes and was sad. His father asked why the sad face? He said all the nails are gone but the holes are still here. His father explained to him they are Scars. whenever we lie, cheat, steal, hurt someone else or do wrong in any way it's like driving a nail into that spot. No matter if we make amends and are forgiven there is still going to be a scar. You can cover it up and hide it, but it's still there. We should all think before we act because once the nail is driven in there will always be a scar.

Mushrooms anyone?

2010-01-20T23:05:00.003-05:00

What do you say to your 16 year old kid when he announces, 'I have decided I really want to try mushrooms.'

And he doesn't mean shiitake.

This actually happened to me recently during family dinner, no less. Apparently having done the research, finding psilocybin to be non-addictive with no harmful side effects, he decided this may be something worth checking out.

I guess its good that he feels OK bringing this sort of thing up in front of me, at least I have the opportunity to do some damage control! I went with the 'what if you want to become president or work for the FBI - you'll never be able to pass a lie detector test saying you never did illicit drugs' and the 'when you buy drugs off the streets, you never know exactly what you are getting or how safe or pure it is, its not like picking up tylenol at the WaWa (the wa-whut??)' and the ol' 'what if you have a bad trip' arguments. That was my best shot, the rest is up to fate I guess...

What would YOU say to YOUR kid?

How did they know?

2009-12-29T13:44:00.008-05:00

This is what people in 1966 thought computers would be like in the far future year of 1999 (see left for a photo of a computer in 1966.)
Amazingly accurate!
I like their idea of email, handwritten :)

Jules Vern's 1863 predictions from his book "Paris in the 20th Century" (shelved because his editor said it was too unbelievable):

"...The Casmodage Bank possessed veritable masterpieces of the genre, instruments which indeed did resemble huge pianos: by operating a sort of keyboard, sums were instantaneously produced, remainders, products, quotients, rules of proportion, calculations of amortization and of interest compounded for infinite periods and at all possible rates..." (from page 52)

"...the Casmodage Bank issued no less than three thousand letters a day, posted to every corner of the world. A fifteen-horsepower Lenoir never ceased copying these letters, which five-hundred employees incessantly fed into it."(from page 53)

"Further, photographic telegraphy, invented during the last century by Professor Giovanni Caselli of Florence, permitted transmission of the facsimile of any form of writing or illustration, whether manuscript or print, and letters of credit or contracts could now be signed at a distance of five thousand leagues..."(also from page 53)
"The telegraph network now covered the entire surface of the earth's continents and the depths of the seas; America was not more than a second away from Europe, and in a formal experiment made in London in 1903, two agents corresponded with each other after having caused their dispatches to circumnavigate the globe."

He was obviously a time traveler, right??

Conan o'brien's prediction:

"I believe that one day, a high speed network of interconnected computers will spring up world-wide, so enriching people that they will lose their interest in idle chit chat and pornography."

ha ha

Three new things I ate this holiday

2009-12-28T14:52:00.007-05:00

Grits
I have been exposed to these before but never tried them - they just don't seem like they would be that good. And they're not! I mean, they aren't bad, with some butter, salt and pepper added, but not something I would go out of my way to eat. What are they? Basically, very small pieces of finely broken grains of corn or hominy boiled to make a sort of corn porridge. Grits are also... Some people adore grits, as you can tell by this poem about grits!

Yorkshire Pudding
Yum! I will probably never get to eat this again unless I make it, since it is not traditionally a vegetarian dish. V's cousin was so kind as to leave the meat out of several of these and although the flavors are subtle, I thought it was quite delicious. When baked with sausages in the batter, the dish is known as "toad in the hole" (ew) which sounds totally gross.

Pavlova
I'm not sure if this came out the way it was supposed to. At first it seemed good - a chewy, nougatty-flavored patty-thing with whipped cream, mixed berries, and chocolate sauce. Slowly I started tasting like, a strange, spicy, peppery flavor that didn't quite seem like it belonged in a desert. Pav, named after named after the Russian ballet dancer Anna Pavlova, is described as 'meringue cake with a light, delicate, crisp crust and a soft sweet marshmallow center' - the one I ate was completely flat and extremely dense and chewy, rather than pouffed up. Also, the recipe has no mention of pepper or cayanne - so I think A.) it didn't turn out as intended, and B.) some liberties were taken with the recipe. Overall, i would rate this dessert... weird.

butterflies are so HARDCORE

2009-12-15T12:00:00.003-05:00

Ah Andy, adorable precocious little brother of Alex P. Keaton in Family Ties, what has become of you? Assault with a broken bar stool, drunk driving, domestic abuse, facing prison... neck tattoos of pretty butterflies... This 'then and now' somehow manages to make me both sad and amused at the same time.

Read more:
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/21949720/detail.html#

out of this world, man

2009-12-07T11:41:00.009-05:00

37 years ago today, Apollo 17 was launched into space 18,000 miles from the Earth, and was able to photograph the Earth in full light for the first time. Virtually every picture showing the full Earth is derived from this one photograph. Within the next couple of years, anyone will be able to travel in to space and see the earth the way the astronauts of Apollo 17 did in 1972. Oh wait, I mean anyone wealthy with 200K of disposable income to spend on 2.5 hrs of out-of-this-world entertainment.

Wish to travel to space by age group: USA

Don't get me wrong, I'm actually quite excited about this. These things always start off for the rich but eventually trickle down to be financially accessible for everyday folk. Anyway, thinking back to the Hindenburg and the Titanic, I actually would rather not be the guinea pig strapped in the seat while the kinks in the technology are worked out ;)
Click here for full story

the spreading of the HINIE-V and the unemploymency

2009-10-29T16:22:00.006-04:00

Another person added to the list of unemployed people that I know personally, and about to have a baby at that! Does that mean his wife and baby won't have health insurance??

Another story of someone I know personally coming down with H1N1.

This stuff is officially is no longer a case of media fear-mongering, but actual real-life messed up world holy moly what are we going to do crap! Am I the only one feeling all hypochondriaced out about the scary germs circulating the planet right now, spreading like-- hate to say it -- the plague?

This stuff suddenly has been promoted to the level of CANNOT BE IGNORED.

Yikes.

Quote of the Day:
MB: You worry too much. life is life. There are no predetermined answers for what lies in store. You just have to deal with the good and bad. Analyzing the bridge before you get to it doesn't always solve the
problem.

Quote #2 of the Day:
MH: (About H1N1) i hate this dang flu! THAT is the scariest thing this halloween!

Hearty potato stewp

2009-10-28T14:16:00.003-04:00

Stewp: n. A soup that actually came out more like a stew.
Example: The stewp I made yesterday is a meal you eat with a spoon!

1/2 head cabbage, chopped
5 potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 large onion, chopped
5 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbs olive oil
6 cups vegetable broth or vegetarian chicken flavored stock
1 giant can of organic stewed tomatoes
1/2 package Trader Joes Soyrizo
1 can spicy V8 vegetable juice
cayanne pepper to taste

heat olive oil on low and add onions and garlic until soft, about 3 min
Add soyrizo, sautee for another 3 min
add remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer on lower heat for 30 min.
Add cayanne pepper to taste if it isn't spicy enough.

This soup is vegan and filling, good for a cold rainy day

Accept and Give Praise

2009-10-27T15:26:00.001-04:00

I can live for two months on a good compliment. -- Mark Twain.

By saying, "What you are doing is wonderful," we encourage those who are doing the wonderful thing to keep doing it. Maybe in a small way, we become responsible for the continued existence of something wonderful.

Spider vs. Wasp

2009-08-03T13:06:00.012-04:00

Recently I was enjoying an amazing vegetarian Indian buffet at the Mango Grove in Columbia, when I noticed through the window an epic battle was being waged between a spider in her web and a large black wasp that had become entrapped in said web.

The wasp still had a lot of fight left in him. Most of his body was free, but though he struggled valiantly, thrashing his large body to and fro, he couldn't seem to free himself from the delicate threads ensnaring him. The spider, a particularly small, delicate, leggy fellow, almost translucent, was not patiently awaiting his victim to tire himself and give up. Perhaps he feared the strength of his prey would eventually allow escape, or perhaps he hadn't had a meal in some time and was as eager to begin on his lunch as I was when I loaded up my plate with the aromatic curries moments ago. Whatever his motivation, his purpose was clear: paralyze the wasp with venom and end his thrashing that was slowly but steadily destroying the carefully crafted net. The wasp would tire of his struggling and lie still for several seconds, and the spider would begin to descend, ready for the endgame. The wasp would wearily note death's approach and begin anew his panicked struggle to stay alive, sending the smaller, weaker of the two scuttling just out of reach to safety.

I found myself (I, who used to be late to class in gradeschool for stopping along the way to rescue every earthworm who found himself in the middle of the pavement and was in danger of being fried by the afternoon sun or tread upon by uncaring pedestrians, gently placing them in the cool shady grass) wondering if I should intervene in this Discover-Channel-esque life and death battle for survival. My initial instinct was to free the thrashing flier from his fate at the hands of one of the insects I most despise (horrifying, evil-looking, venom-filled hunters) and perhaps I naturally side with the victim. However, wasps are also hateful creatures who wouldn't hesitate to stab you with their poison dagger, who send children running and screaming in fear as they buzz menacingly around a Sunday picnic. And furthermore, freeing the wasp to go on his merry way and fulfill his future destiny of destroying birthday parties and family reunions in the park could very well seal the fate of the poor hungry hunter - its not as though a spider who has been robbed of his dinner can settle for a juicy carrot or an apple.

In the end I did as the nature videographers who capture the footage we watch on the Discovery Channel do- they observe but don't intervene in the course of nature, as hard as it may be sometimes. For if you save the baby wildebeast from the lioness' clutches, the lion cubs may meet that dark fate instead.

Swat Hand Signals

2009-03-17T17:35:00.002-04:00

click image to enlarge

coming down the mountain

2009-03-04T17:57:00.009-05:00

So I finally went skiing in spite of the fact that my all time favorite ski buddy jumped town years ago and I have been in mourning ever since. I'll never forget the time we were on the way back from Ski Liberty and we stopped at the Sheetz - which was selling a bunch of teddybears that you could record your own personal message on by holding thier paw, then squeeze the other paw and it will repeat your message. So on a whim, one after another, I recorded, 'for a good time call [my friend's name and phone number]' on like, 100 bears! It was hilarious, she couldn't figure out how to erase them, and everyone she tested repeated the same horrifying mantra!*

Anyway, no one else I know is into skiing. So finally, after TEN YEARS, I gave up and took the kids to Ski Liberty, meeting some of the teens Cody befriended (and a little more then friended!) at the Outer Banks last year. At first it was a total nightmare of struggling to get equipment on, paying $35 for a pizza we had to consume indoors while wearing blizzard-ready gear from head to foot, taking Jake's boots on and off three freaking times and adjusting the number of socks underneath until they were comfortable. WOW what a mistake it was to do this, what was I THINKING!

Phew. Then, we all took a lesson that was included free with our package, during which time we mostly just stood around and were boiling hot with our sucky instructor who said that in order to turn on skiis, go downhill and look to the left, and you will turn. Oh gee, really? Because I thought the skiis were attatched to my feet, not my head. I already knew how to ski so everyone in the class thought I was just an amazing learner and they just sucked. I played it up too when the instructor gave me compliments, like,

Teacher: 'great job, you're doing it perfectly!'
Me: 'Thanks!' looking smugly at rest of class, and throwing my arms in the air, 'i-am-the-champion' style :P

Anwyay

after all of that mess, we finally escaped from the class and started going. And then it was so much fun! Sooo fun. Cody was holding his own on the snowboard, Jake was a natural, refusing to even use the poles, and even at 8:30 when we were done, begged to stay and keep going! Was totally fun even though for like 3 days afterwards I was hobbling around like a cripple. Guess I need to get back to the gym!

*Of course we deleted them all before we left, I'm not evil!

.....i mean, salad

2009-03-04T16:15:00.004-05:00

if I died and came back as a zombie
i wonder if I would be a vegetarian zombie
wouldnt go after brains
just like..tofu and soy products

Playmobil Security Check Point

2009-01-14T11:29:00.005-05:00

"I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!"

"Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like. "

"What better way to teach the next generation how to behave in a police state then with a toy such as this? I'm really hoping that they come out with a toy in which the kids can play "interregator". Think of all the fun the little folks can have waterboarding those who "hate our freedom". "

You can't make this stuff up. Totally visit the page and read the amazon ratings comments. Hilarious!

she just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich

2008-10-13T12:12:00.013-04:00

So I'm working at this conference in DC and last night I finally escaped, well, was rescued, by a couple of friends that live in DC. We ended up at the Ghana cafe in Adams Morgan (outdoor seating, hoppin crowd, live reggae). We were accosted by some rambunctios cardiologists from Australia who were super nice and hilarious!

Facts that I learned about the land down under:

Aussies have a very poor opinion about the US and Americans (they said this trip changed thier minds though).
They have free healthcare, without all of the issues our gov't tries to scare-tactic us into believing. I asked how long you would have to wait in line to get a heart procedure, thinking it was probably something ridiculous; he said for an emergency procedure like angioplasty the wait is one day, and the cost is zero. Crazy! What are we doing here, why cant we get it right?? If you live in the country and have to travel to a city hospital and stay for a few days during a procedure, not only do they reimburse you for your travel expenses, but will find you a hotel ... and pay for it!!
No one in Australia drinks Fosters. They drink Coopers.
They do really call men Blokes and women Shielas.

They love vegemite but agree you pretty much have to be eating it from birth to ever be able to choke it down.
They really do say Crikey ("a legal way to say the F word on TV")
They recommend a band called Powderfinger.
There's a place in Australia called Coober Pedy (the opal capital of the world) where its too hot to live above ground so they all live underground like freakin Hobbits!
Their money is made of plastic, so you can't tear a bill in half!
Cigarettes in australia, by law, have to look like this:

which is obviously not effective since an entire group of cardiologists were smoking them!

Anyway, thats Australia in a nutshell!

Kermit is ready to defend against a police state - are you?

2008-10-01T11:13:00.004-04:00

I forgot to mention at that party someone had a baby named Kermit Aloysius Giacomo Tillet (pronounced Kermit Alowishus Jakamo Tillet). Incidentally, Kermit as you know is the first name of the famous Sesame Street frog, but you might not know (as that kid's parents apparantly didn't) that Aloyisius is Snuffelufagus' first name, also of Sesame Street fame- whack!

I love this guy

OK now for the serious post, apparantly a military infantry company has been deployed on US soil for the first time in history. why??

Army to station active-duty unit in the U.S. for 'crowd control'
The 3rd Infantry Division’s 1st Brigade Combat Team has spent 35 of the last 60 months in Iraq patrolling in full battle rattle, helping restore essential services and escorting supply convoys.
Now they’re training for the same mission — with a twist — at home.
Beginning Oct. 1 for 12 months, the 1st BCT will be under the day-to-day control of U.S. Army North, the Army service component of Northern Command, as an on-call federal response force for natural or manmade emergencies and disasters, including terrorist attacks.

should we be afraid? buy a gun? make a secret bunker? stash food and water supplies? run away to another country? stop freaking out and don't watch so much TV?

Housewarming in the booty-hole

2008-09-29T13:55:00.014-04:00

On Saturday we headed down to DC for Jolene's house warming party. I showed up in the EXACT IDENTICAL outfit to my friend that I was meeting there. I mean, everything except the glasses! Kind of embarrassing because it prob looked planned but I guess it shows we both have taste ! or something?? Anyway Joley lives in a SFH in DC with a yard and everything, which I didn't even know existed. It was pretty entertaining. one party-goer told me about her own personal medical mystery (which I love that kind of stuff, I always watch those shows on Discovery Health!), some of the musically inclined guys started playing guitar and singing. Her roomate Tony, who was a riot once he got drunk (singing his own rendition of several songs replacing 'put it in the booty hole' for the normal lyrics) is in a band called the Breakups, who I think are breaking up, ironically. Here is a video - this makes the party look way more like a super drunk-fest (or an irish wake, Snatch-style) than it actually was. I swear. Really.

Welp tonight is the jewish new year, actually a high holy day unlike the american new year which is all about getting loaded and fireworks and making out :P In summary you eat apples dipped in honey to wish for a sweet new year, and if you go to synagogue you get to hear them blow the shofar which is like an animal horn. I have no idea why. but I'd bet a dollar my brother will post the reason in my comments section. In general you are supposed to look at the mistakes of the past year and plan the changes you will make in the new year. Prolly not a bad idea -

Ok so, I just got out of a meeting where my boss was looking at his calendar to schedule the next meeting and goes, 'another damn jewish holiday!'

I have to assume he doesn't know I am jewish.

I usually don't feel like too much of a minority living in a hostile environment so far in this american life, but sometimes reality hits you in the face.

Just Dandy

2008-09-26T23:09:00.016-04:00

I saw the Dandy Warhols, a kind of a fun 80's synth rock band, at the 9:30 club on Monday. It was one of the best shows I've seen in a long time. I like but don't love them so was suprized that I enjoyed the show as much as I did. During some of it I was - transported. Which is cool. It also inspired me to persue getting some earplugs that are designed to let in the sound while filtering and dampening the volume. Man was it loud in there, so bad for your ears which you know never recover from any damage they are exposed to. Some people who have had enough damage always hear a ringing noise. For some, its so bad they would rather be dead. Some insist on having their hearing cut off completely in order to stop the incessant ringing, its THAt bad. I know i sound old but, you gotta protect what you have !

I took these videos at the concert, not sure if it really does them justice but anyway - short clip

longer and different song if you have more time to kill :P

In other news, punk rock turtle says, "I've only fallen in love twice--once with a mirror, and once with a beer bottle."

CUZ I WANNA BE ANARCHY!

Suresh-Fly

2008-09-24T17:21:00.008-04:00

So I saw the season premier of 'Heroes' last night, in a slight muscle-relaxer-induced stupor. I have this like, pinched nerve or something, in my back that is making me feel like old people and putting a serious dent in my exercise routine. Bleh.

Anyway, combined with the fact that I forgot a large chunk of the storyline (since its been like a year since I saw the last Heroes episode) and the fact that the story involves so many people, things happening in the past, future, and present, the future changing repeatedly, people coming back from the dead, personality changes, etc., I had trouble feeling invested in the story this time around. But the WORST part was the BLATANT and SHAMELESS ripping off from 'The Fly'. I mean, what happened to Mohinder was like, as close as you can get to a scene-for-scene copy of The Fly without violating some kind of copyright laws. The quiet nerdy scientist so enthused by his newly discovered yet untested scientific breakthrough that he has to try it on himself immediately. Then he is transformed into having super strength, walking around shirtless and buff and excitedly documenting his amazing feelings and newfound abilities, walking up walls and hanging up in the rafters- and then the transformation scene- this was almost the biggest part of the rip-off - identical to the scene where Jeff Goldblum stands in the dim light of his bathroom and peels puss-dripping parts of his body off that are coming loose. I mean, COME ON. You can pilfer a basic idea from another movie, it happens all the time, but to keep it so freaking close to the original that I actually felt like I was watching the Fly? So annoying!

LOOK FAMILIAR?

Blog

2008-09-17T22:51:00.005-04:00

I'm blogging for the first time in a long time. Doing it from my brand new iPhone !!! I just had my 33rd birthday and for some reason it suddenly feels like I'm officially "not young" any more. Not sure why - maybe because I'm into the middle chunk of my 30's rather then the beginning. Maybe it's because I look in the mirror and know I have lost that magical glow that only comes from youth (or Botox). Oh well it's hard to be too morose when you are cradling this amazing gadget in your palms. This is hands down the coolest gift I have ever received. It has all of these amazing apps like one you can hold up to the radio and it tells you what song is playing or one incredible program called Pandora that allows you to create your own personalized radio station based on analyzing your favorite band and comparing it's attributes against other songs listed in the music genome project. Not to mention Internet and email access anywhere anytime! I am in love. With the man who got it for me! You can't love a mechanical object! Ok who am I kidding I LOVE IT!

Not lookin forward to the first months bill though !

In other news tomorrow I have an office kayaking trip- I guess it's better then working but in general I'm not a huge fan of socializing with coworkers outside of the office. Maybe someone will fall in or something and make it a worthwhile trip!

what the??

2008-07-02T13:06:00.001-04:00

Those crazy british Doodys!

Working hard to give faggots the recognition they deserve

Summer lovin, had me a blast-- Summer lovin, happened so fast...

2008-06-26T11:59:00.009-04:00

Last week we all went to the Outerbanks to stay at the same huge awesome beachhouse as we did last time. It was a great trip especially for the kids, the week immediately after the last day of school. 5 free days of free beachy free vacation. The gas, even though we went in an old SUV, was only $50 each way! There were 3 other kids around Jake's age, 3 other kids Cody's age, and 2 other dogs for Kona and Dewberry to hang with. So basically, dogs and kids were all in heaven and needed zero entertainment the whole time from us. In fact I barely saw them except when I tracked them down to force them to slather down with sunblock. Its weird not being needed!

We were all enamored of Stu's youngest son Scotland, (even the kids wanted to steal him and bring him home) who so adorably called me 'Chir-lee'. In an amazing feat of magical coaching skills V managed to get 4 kids, 2 of them with ADHD and one of them a toddler, to actually organize into some semblance of an oceanside baseball game. Seriously astounding. I don't know why he doesn't use that passion and talent to actually be a coach.

The exciting part, at least for me as a parent, was the 'young love' going on between my eldest and the teenage girl there who apparantly has had a crush on him. For 4 days they ran around half-clothed (bikinis and swimming trunks) wrestling eachother in the pools and hanging out, probably making out in the wee hours of the morning when all of the adults were asleep! ack! I had to have a talk with him reminding him to make sure to behave like a gentleman. He did NOT want to have that conversation with his MOM! Times like this I feel bad that he doesn't have a man around to deal with that kind of converstation. I'm pretty sure his dad would just encourage him to 'go for it' or something.

The strange double standard is, if the girl was my daughter, I would have been a lot more supervisory and I don't think I would have been happy about her frolicking in a bikini with those boys! But why?

Click here for the rest of the photos (if you care)

Operation Octagon

2008-05-19T15:26:00.005-04:00

So, I went to my first cage-fighting match. More importantly, a cage fighting match where I knew one of the competitors. Holy moley. So, we get there and get in the short, special, VIP line (not short and special like the bus you used to ride to school, A.S.) and get our special VIP bracelets, and are escorted to our special VIP seats which are right up at the cage, the only things between us and the cage are the paramedics and the judges. So nutty! Sitting on one side of me, my friend who's b/f was not only competing, but the FIRST competitor, quietly freaking out, her nerves all a-jangle. On the other side of me, the dad of one of the younger competitors, also clearly freaking out. I'm freaking out for the both of them. I can't imagine sitting next to someone while they watch their loved-one get the tar beat out of them! Although, I must say I was less worried for my friend's b/f due to the fact that I had seen his opponent, 5'10" and out of shape, vs. Shawn, 6'1" and had been training hard.

Shawn Church

Billy Reynolds

Shawn's fight music comes on- its the theme to the movie 'Halloween'. He comes out of the darkness, looking 100% the part of UFC cage fighter, with his bald head and twisty satan beard.

Next, his competitor arrives, to... a Michael Jackson song? hmmm... odd choice. Looking like, well, some guy at the pool who suddenly found himself at a cage match, Quantum Leap style.

The fight begins- and... ends?? In just 28 seconds, Shawn put the poor guy to sleep using a guillotine choke. Not realizing that the fight was over, thinking it was just that round, I turn my camera off. But, no, they are announcing Shawn as the winner! My friend screams and 'wooooo!'s frantically, her hands shaking. (I didn't even mention the part where at the beginning of the fight she panics, there is no picture on her video camera! Is the lens cap off, I ask her? Oh yeah... haha)

Anyway, while still exciting, I think it was all a bit anti-climatic for us and Shawn who didn't even get to throw one punch, but still exhilirating! Incidentally, the guy next to me who's son was competing also won his match in less then a minute- his competitor who held the belt came out extremely agressively in his revolting speedo, and the other kid just cold-cocked him - his face flew sideways with blood exploding from his mouth (yes we were that close) and he hit the floor, knocked out!!

Anyway, in all it wasn't nearly as disturbing as I thought it would be, violence-wise. I am pretty squeemish towards any real violence usually, but these were very short rounds, and a lot more wrestling then head pounding. Before anyone had a chance to really be pounded the round would be over, and if they were being pounded and not really defending themselves anymore, the match would be over. The only real disturbing round were the girl fighters, I didn't like that at all. Especially since one of them looked all beef-jerky tough and muscly with corn rows, and the other was just some skinny girl with no muscle tone, who subsequently got a pretty good pounding and didn't seem to be able to defend herself at all. Even the audience reacted differently, with uncomfortable laughter rather then excitement.

Click here to see more photos

rrrrandom

2008-05-09T11:22:00.000-04:00

Greatest Headline Ever

Well I'm going to a cage match ultimate fighting battle mixed martial arts match next Saturday, ringside seats so I'll actually get blood on me if I'm lucky. AAAA!!! The crazy thing is knowing one of the combatants- I think that's going to make it way more stressfull! Photos to follow, I promise.

In other news, Queenie's in Trouble!!
oh come on, that's awesome and you know it.

passover funsicle

2008-04-29T23:38:00.012-04:00

If you know any of the people in these photos, or are just a veuyeristic wierdo or an obsessed fan, click on this link to see the rest of the family photos. Actually I prefer if you fall into the latter categories that you refrain and go get help. Or watch some episodes of 30 Rock online. But stop being creepy.

The photo of Kona was taken on the way home from the Dog Beach which is a small beach at the bay where you can let your dogs run around off leash. Our dogs wouldn't swim, but anyway Kona was so tired after all of that running around that on the way home he was falling asleep standing up (see photo)! So cute!

then you can starrrr to make ee berar

2008-04-29T23:07:00.005-04:00

I don't care who you are, this is freaking adorable and if you don't admit it, I'll whack you with a wet noodle.

The good news is, Darwinism will weed them out of the gene pool

2008-04-29T12:49:00.010-04:00

So last night my sister showed me a documentary called Guys and Dolls. Its described this way: "For some people finding a partner in life can be difficult.. 10 years ago, a small factory in California began making alternative partners. "

Its about the Real Doll which anyone who listens to that jackass Howard Stern has probably heard of. Basically, lonely guys who can't talk to women, or angry guys who want to have their way with a non-responsive coma girl, or creepy dudes who can get girlfriends but would rather have a harem of coma girls at his sexual disposal, who pay Eight Grand for the opportunity to have their own life-sized realistic woman fully anatomically correct, to pose, photograph with, take advantage of, dress, shop for, put make up on, and have relations with. If you want them to stand up, you hang them on a meat hook by the neck! Does that turn you on as much as it turns me on?

The crazy thing is, these men develop an emotional attachment to their dolls, which they have named, and say things like, 'Its better then being alone' -- DUDE, YOU ARE ALONE!!

So nuts but I wonder what percentage of guys would turn one of those away if it appeared on his doorstep...

Ew.

Click here to watch the entire documentary on Google video for free

I highly recommend it and give it a heebie-jeebie factor of 9.8

So, are these guys creepy and gross? Sad and poignant?

Are these dolls helping to prevent potential roofie-assisted date-rapes? Or getting in the way of lonely guys forcing themselves to deal with the real world?

Did these guys give up because the world was too harsh? Or because they have an unrealistic, unobtainable image of the perfect fantasy woman that they will never be capable of wooing in reality, and can't imagine settling for someone a little flawed, a real woman?

Can you spot the penis*

2008-04-10T16:49:00.008-04:00

Last weekend I went to a birthday celebration in VA with some old highschool friends. Was real depressing at first listening to everyone compare receeding hairlines and grey hair stories. Was real weird in general just seeing those people 15 yrs later and comparing. I don't think we've changed all that much which is good. Maybe I am in denial though!

*its on the cake. I guess you don't ever *have* to grow up!

Don't go back to ... Arbutus

2008-03-29T11:22:00.015-04:00

So, the other day, the only convenient time the movie we wanted to see was playing was at a theatre we had never heard of in Arbutus. Curious to find out more about this unknown mystery theatre, we quickly agreed to meet there and GPS'd* our way over. Parking was awesome - free road parking immediately across the street from the theatre. Once inside we started to hedge... It looked old and small and crappy like some small town theatre on that show with Johnboy in it. If you payed for your snacks with a credit card, the lady had to walk over to the ticket lady to have her process it in the ticket booth. There was NO THEATRE SEATING, and since it was two rows of seats with an isle down the middle, impossible to sit centered on the screen. The sound was so muffled that I couldn't understand the dialogue until we moved right under the speaker! It was the SUCK.

So then we asked the locals where a good place to eat was and they mentioned a nearby restaurant. So, we headed over there passing-- let me just preface this whole section by saying that there are no lies or exaggerations in this story! -- a beat up orange pickup truck with this logo lovingly hand-painted on it: "Cletus's Hauling"

Cletus?

Really??

So, we get to the restaurant and order our food, grilled cheese with tomato for me since the veg selection was almost non-existent, and, how can you mess that up? (Little did I know... yes, this is foreshadowing). The (very nice) lady serving us had a MASSIVE mole on her face with a mass of hair growing out of it SO LONG that it actually was CURLY. So, realizing I am gawking, I violently jerk my head sideways to look at something else. "Oh no," I think, frantically, "Is it obvious I am trying not to look at the hideous twin sister she probably absorbed in the womb that is now trying to resurface and force her way into life out of the side of this poor woman's face??"

I look quickly look back at her in an effort to cover my intial reaction so as not to insult her- but again, my eyes are drawn to the hideous unthinkable area. I swear it was JUST like that scene in Austin Powers. MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLEYYYY....

Anyway for 20 min we wait in this depressing time warp of a place waiting for our food.

The music is like, some 80s saxophone by like, the sax player from Tina Turners band. The people all look dated and depressed, every one of them either severely underweight or overweight. On our way to our seats we walk by a man sitting alone eating what looks like microwave spaghetti still in the round black microwavable plastic dish, those gross too-thick spaghetti noodles with some congealed sauce and a few fat meatballs he is listlessly pushing around with his fork. The lighting are those yellowed florescents that give the restaurant that quaint "isle 9 of Walmart" ambiance.

Finally my grilled cheese arrives- the bread dry, the cheese barely melted, the tomatoes uncooked. How can you spend 20 minutes preparing a grilled cheese sandwich and forget to actually cook it?? I scarf it down quickly in an effort to get out of there as quickly as possible.

In summary, Arbutus = THUMBS DOWN!

* Yes, it is a verb.

And now for something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.... !!

the worst part of being a mother is...

2008-02-22T16:36:00.004-05:00

the worst noise to wake up to at 2 am (after already waking up at 1 am to your co2/smoke detector repeating the mantra 'BLING! Batteries are low..........BLING!! Batteries are low....' and realizing the only way this is going to end is if you haul yourself out of your warm bed into the darkness and find a ladder? chair? balance yourself precariously on it on the landing above a treacherous set of stairs and risk your life) -- is this noise, instantly recognizable even in a hazy groggy 2am fog:

"Mooooom...." **SPLAT!**
"Mooommmmm........" **SPLATTER!**

I promise you this sound bodes only something dreadful.

When I wasn't a single mother, the one task I refused adamantly to take on was cleaning up vomit. I just couldn't take it. The smell, the sound, the look of it, worse then any diaper, worse then any dirty dish or any toilet that needed to be cleaned... I just didn't have the fortitude to deal with it. Well, becoming a single mother gives you the fortitude to deal with all kinds of things you never imagined. For example, I am terrified of spiders. But you wouldn't know it if you came to visit my house- I am the queen of the Spider Capture-and-release Program. And, in fact, though it is probably second on my "worst things" list (immediately below number one: actually vomiting myself), I am actually capable of cleaning vomit off of the floor at 2 am without vomiting myself! Although it does take sheer willpower not to just cover the putrid reeking mess with a towel and pray it somehow dissapears! Although it took an entire roll of paper towels, two manic handwashing episodes, and 5 retreats to gasp frantically for fresh air!

And the best part of being a mother?
"I'm so, so sorry about waking you up at 2 in the morning!"
"Thats ok, I'm sorry you had to throw up."
"Don't be sorry, its not your fault! I'll try not to wake you up again unless I have to."

wow. if only i could be that selfless when i feel like crap. its an amazing feeling actually being able to look up to your own kids.

last weekend V and I spent the weekend bonding over matching barf trashcans. I was the first to feel sick. I was thinking, "I'd rather be dead then feel like this." V said one of the sweetest things ever,
"If I could take your illness away and be sick instead of you I would."

My response?
"Really? wow I was thinking, if I could give this illness to 10 other people in trade for instantly feeling better, I would."

just being honest here! I am a bad person!

Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A.

2008-02-07T11:38:00.000-05:00

A Message from John Cleese
To: The citizens of the United States of America
In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell- checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.
July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. Holden Monaro's are also approved.
All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.
Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

God save the Queen.
Only He can.

John Cleese

"explain this" PLUS bonus freaky twin report!

2008-01-31T12:35:00.000-05:00

Explain this:

About three weeks ago, on a weeknight, I was woken up at 2 am by a violent pounding at the door followed by the door bell ringing. I jump up from my deep sleep, heart pounding furiously in my chest, assuming there must be some emergency! Of course being a single woman living alone, I hesitated at 2 am to run down and answer the door, instead cautiously looking out of the window to investigate. Whe I looked out of the window and then downstairs through the peephole no one was there, and after a while I thought maybe the doorbell went off on its own (which happens sometimes when the weather is damp) and maybe I dreamt the violent pounding, like maybe it was a psychological reaction to being woken up so suddenly...

Well, last night at 4 am someone loudly pounded on the door using the knocker. Again I jumped out of bed with a heart attack practically, almost nauseous from being woken up so violently, looked at the clock to see what time it was, and looked out the window. I didn't see anyone, nor did I see any cars out front that didn't belong. Cody comes in, also woken up, going 'what the heck was that! Who's at the door??" (Hence knowing I'm not crazy, now that I have a witness!) I send him down to look out of the peephole while I watch out the window but neither of us can see anyone.

Eventually, I stay up watching HORRIBLE tv (at that hour its all infomercials, fresh prince of bel air, and Happy Days!) and listening for anything unusual until 6:30, I think I dozed off maybe until 7:15 feeling safer once the sun was up. ugh.

Anyway its so confusing, and thus frightening - because,
A.) what would someone get out of playing ding dong ditch, esp. not on a random whim but repeatedly at the same house.
B.) ding dong ditch is a kids game, what kids are wandering outside at 4 am on a weeknight!
C.) this seems like an unlikely game for anyone to play at that hour on a weeknight in the dead of winter when its freezing out
D.) how come I never see anyone running away!?!

Explain that!!

As promised, freaky conjoined twin update

Here are my two new favorite conjoined twins:
Two headed baby born in china- one body, with only the normal set of internal organs, but 2 backbones branching off into two separate but functional heads!

Lakshmi was born with 4 arms and 4 legs. Thought to be the reincarnated form of the 4-armed Indian goddess after which she was named, she is actually sporting the full body of a conjoined twin, SANS HEAD. That is wiggedy-wack. But she's super cute! (From the neck up!!!!!)

And, perhaps funkiest of all:

"Doctors Find Two Dead Siblings In the Stomach of a Lone Triplet"
Doctors removed two siblings from the body of a one-year-old in Indonesia yesterday. The girl’s siblings were removed from her abdomen and the surviving triplet, who absorbed her unviable sisters, is expected to survive. One of the bodies, according the story, was totally complete, except for arms and legs. And the other had ony a head, but with hair, and also part of a digestive system.

I would be afraid of a girl who ate her siblings. That's badass.

So you wanna be a rock superstar, and live large, a big house, 5 cars, you're in charge

2008-01-30T15:26:00.000-05:00

How much is flexibility and independence at work worth to you? In dollars. If you could come in at 10 am every day? If you could, when you felt like it, take an hour and half lunch with out sweating it? If you could work from home every Monday, what would that be worth to you? 2 grand? 5 grand? 10 grand? In this country, in this life, where from childhood you are taught to equate 'success' with your job title and your income, the size of your house and the profile of your car, the brand name on your shoes and the divirsity of your investments, would you be willing to give up flexibility, chillness, and freedom for prestige and a fat sweaty wad of cash?

Is success equivelant to bling, or to personal satisfaction, or to enjoying your life at your desired pace sans big house/fatty paycheck, or what?

Uplifting death quote of the day:
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

Name the movie without using Google for 2 points. Not that I can prove whether you are a dirty sneakin' cheater or not, but try to be honest out there, boyscouts.

trash TV

2008-01-24T12:10:00.000-05:00

I tried to watch the presidential debates. What crap. I learned almost nothing of the candidates' view on the issues, because nearly the entire time was spent attacking eachother's voting and personal records. I thought that was the Republicans' job. In fact, it was almost entirely Obama and Clinton going at it, with a few words gotten in edgewise by Edwards, who also went the attack route. Blah. Its like watching gladiators, only they are fighting by selectively choosing votes from eachothers past and casting them in the worst possible light. Worthless TV. I'd rather watch... that show where the chicks are fighting to date Brett Michaels. Or, the one about Chachi being 45 and single. Only now he's knocked up some chick so the show is now titled 'Scott Baeo is 46 and a slut.' Or something.

Recent movies:
Sunshine - rating: good
I Am Legend - rating: meh
Juno - rating: so freakin good

Recent books:
Red Badge of Courage - rating: meh
Village in the Treetops - rating: meh
A Thousand Splendid Suns - rating: thumbs up
An American Tragedy - rating: loved it

useless fun

2008-01-21T18:28:00.000-05:00

what is unusual about this poem - a contest

2008-01-07T21:15:00.000-05:00

Doppelgänger

Entering the lonely house with my wife
I saw him for the first time
Peering furtively from behind a bush –
Blackness that moved,
A shape amid the shadows,
A momentary glimpse of gleaming eyes
Revealed in the ragged moon.
A closer look (he seemed to turn) might have
Put him to flight forever –I dared not
(For reasons that I failed to understand),
Though I knew I should act at once.

I puzzled over it, hiding alone,
Watching the woman as she neared the gate.
He came, and I saw him crouching
Night after night.
Night after night
He came, and I saw him crouching,
Watching the woman as she neared the gate.

I puzzled over it, hiding alone –Though I knew I should act at once,
For reasons that I failed to understand
I dared not
Put him to flight forever.

A closer look (he seemed to turn) might have
Revealed in the ragged moon
A momentary glimpse of gleaming eyes
A shape amid the shadows,
Blackness that moved.

Peering furtively from behind a bush,
I saw him, for the first time
Entering the lonely house with my wife.

whats new on the brittany front?

2008-01-05T18:28:00.000-05:00

Apparantly there was a 4 hour long police standoff with britanny spears. Apparantly her sister is preggo not from her teen boyfriend, but from a much older producer that works on her show. Man, this is like CANDY for americans. they are eating it up. Who wouldn't rather think about this then the fact that we are in a never ending war with no exit plan and that we are actively torturing possibly innocent people in super secret overseas prisons. Remember when it was the bad guys doing that stuff? Remember when it was like, the SS or something? Oh well, don't worry. The latest is that Brit has been released from the hospital. Whats that girl going to do next? I'm on pins and needles.

men? comments?

2008-01-04T18:00:00.000-05:00

Been awhile

2008-01-03T13:15:00.000-05:00

Finally blogging again. I hope anyone out there is still reading!

Ok where to begin....
Had a good relaxing holiday, won't bore you with the details, but my best presents were jewlery and a new digital camera (to replace my junker held together with scotch tape) from V, and a Roomba robotic vaccum from my awesome brother (See video).

If you don't have one, get one!! I mean it! It is my favorite household item of all time. Its so cool!

Anyway, in a meeting with a bunch of directors and the executive director, to get the topic off of 'dogs' which they had been talking about for 20 minutes rather then the issue at hand, I told this joke: Why did the cowboy get a dauchund? Because someone told him to 'Get along, little doggie' (said with cowboy drawl). They all laughed and it did get us on track, so score one for that, but how professional does that look? Oh well I never cared before so why start now :P

In other news my friend M came to visit from out of town and I took her out for pedicures and a wine tasting (this was at a liquor store and we were still wearing our pedicure flip-flops). The wine tasting was apparantly over, but they agreed to let us do it anyway and proceeded to pour away into our plastic dixie cups as though we were at a party and trying to get loaded!

On New Years we couldnt get anyone together really, so we had dinner at a friend's house and all went to Sonar to see some bands, The Allmighty Senators and some dudes from Lake Trout who have a side project band called something like Famous in Japan. Not bad but not as good as the Lake Trout show last week at the Ottobar, which was excellent and not at all 'jazz-fusion grateful dead jam-bandy crap' like I had expected it to be!

Well, my dog's at the dentist getting his teeth cleaned so I better call and see how he's doing.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
(Can you believe its been 8 years since the year 2000???!?!!??!?)

Are you there, God? Part II

2007-12-04T16:05:00.001-05:00

So I was at the store when over the loudspeakers came a raspy voice sounding like the crypt-keeper announcing the need for more people to work the registers, or something. It was barely decipherable, like the woman had been a chain-smoker from the age of 5 and was consequently now on death's door. I looked at my friend and said, 'what the heck, couldn't they get anyone else on loudspeaker duty then the woman dying of lung cancer? Wheel that woman to the emergency room! gross!"

The next day, I was back at the same store. While waiting outside of the dressing room, the woman working there started up a friendly conversation with me. THE woman. Crypt-keeper Camel-Joe filterless chain-smoking soon-to-be trach-box-having voiced woman. Super-nice and friendly woman. Without me even asking, she starts to tell me that she used to be a singer but as a result had developed polyps on her throat which she had surgically removed. No one told her she was supposed to have speech therapy afterwards and that's why her voice sounds like that. Her granddaughter said people asked her how many cigarettes her grandma has smoked, but that she had never smoked in her life! Why did she tell me this? Does she tell everyone this? Seems a bit like someone is trying to tell me, 'don't be such an ass!'

For those of you travelling over the holidays via airplane, here is the coolest site ever:

http://www.seatguru.com/

Now you will never accidentally sit in the crappiest seat on the plane on your 8 hr flight back from Hawaii in the back row where the seats don't recline and you are right by the bathroom which is also the area where people congregate to chat and stretch their legs so you have to listen to their inane conversations about how their name is Bob and they are a mortgage broker from Odessa, and what do you do for a living, Phil? while you are trying to sleep at a 90 degree angle!!

Are you there, God? Its me, Margaret.

2007-11-30T14:34:00.000-05:00

Do you ever find yourself falling prey to the illogical 'must be magic' type of explanation for events that happen in your life? Like, 'We all prayed for her and she got better. God answers prayers.' or, 'Why are all of these bad things happening to me? God must be punishing me for lying about being sick on Monday.'

Well, here's mine.
I sold my dog crate on Craigslist the other day (since my dog is so perfect he doesn't need one :))
I was charging $50. The woman buying it said she could come right after her church rehearsal. She stops by, hands me the money, and I help her carry the crate out to the car. When she leaves, I take the money out of my pocket and count it.

Twenty... Fourty... Five.... thats it.

$45.

So, $5 is not a big deal, and if she had asked me to take $45 for it I would have agreed. However, to just try to sneak me the wrong amount of money is irritating and underhanded, but more annoying was the fact that she is supposedly all 'churchy' and yet lowered herself to try to rip me off for $5! So, I went to bed that night shaking my head about people's hypocrisy.

The next morning, at 9am, after all of the high school, middle school, elementary school students, and all of the neighbors going to work had walked through the parking lot of my townhouse complex, I head out to go to work. What do I see sitting in the leaves on the ground right where the woman's car had been parked the night before?

A $5 bill that she had evidentally dropped in her haste to be prepared with the money when she came to my door.

The good news is, her good name is redeemed. The better news is, I am forced to curb my natural tendencies to think the worst of people (and yet I still forgive them for it unless they are totally evil, I mean we are all only human).

But, that little nagging peice of me passed on from my ancestors who attributed the seasons, the weather, the tides, the growth of plants, to 'the gods' did rear its head a bit - I mean, what are the chances that no one picked up a $5 bill lying there plain as day ? What are the chances that I would come out and see it rather then just single-mindedly walking straight to my car without looking around?

Alas, logic wins. But there was a moment!

Seattle Photoblog: Even the cats are grunge

2007-11-10T23:33:00.000-05:00

workin in wa

2007-11-06T17:35:00.000-05:00

Sarah Silverman?

2007-11-06T16:51:00.001-05:00

Apparantly all of Cody's friends think I look like Sarah Silverman. True or false?

P.S. I *don't* like pee.

halloween

2007-11-05T12:29:00.000-05:00

Halloween came and went, for the first time in years I didn’t go to Fells Point, or a Halloween Party, or anything. Blame it on a Wednesday holiday, if you like, but I call it getting old. Anyway, I still did other Halloween stuff. The kids and I went to the Pumpkin patch, my favorite fall activity involving a hay ride, orange pumpkins dotting the countryside connected by winding green vines (way better then picking a pumpkin from a bin at the grocery store!) There were goats, pigs, the ugliest cows ever, and … some kind of a yak thing that looked like a creature from the Neverending Story. We bought apple cider, blueberry bread, fresh fresh delicious apples, and some lumpy warty squashes. Fun! I love the fall.

Until this year, I’ve been able to keep the pumpkins I buy pretty small by telling the kids they can only pick a pumpkin they can carry. This year, though, Jake picked a giant one and just powered through it, barely able to lift it, stumbling under its weight on the way back to the wagon. “Are you sure you don’t want this lighter pumpkin?” “no…*grunt*…. Its…OK…..I got it…..*grunt*…..”

We carved the pumpkins and, sadly, the kids barely needed my help this time. They’re growing up! My aunt the other day said, pretty soon I won’t see them much at all, it will just be ‘Hi mom, bye mom.’ I told her, ‘that’s ok, I’ll just make a couple more.’ Hehe….heh…anyway..
Jake wanted to be SLASH for Halloween. How does my 9 yr old even know who Slash is?! At school, none of the kids knew who he was. Some guessed Ozzie Osbourne. But when he went trick or treating, all of the adults answering the doors knew who he was and thought it was awesome. Haha. Across the street, some neighbors were putting on a puppet show about Jesus. Apparantly in my neighborhood there are a bunch of cool people who regularly hang out outside and watch movies projected on the side of the building! Maybe one day I’ll stop being a recluse and meet them.

The Adventures of an East-Coast Snob in Seattle

2007-11-01T18:06:00.000-04:00

I'm going to Seattle this weekend for a conference, so in honor of that, here is a comic about what I can expect. Enjoy

(stolen from Moira's myspace)

Humor for Lexophiles

2007-10-16T11:43:00.000-04:00

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in linoleum blownapart.
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.

marathons: WTF?

2007-10-15T16:16:00.000-04:00

Ok is it just me or does a marathon seem like a totally unfathomable phenomenon?

I can understand jogging or running in order to stay fit, to de-stress, lose weight, etc. but in no physical fitness guide does it ever say that 26 miles is a neccessary distance to acheive those goals. To me, it seems that marathons border on sado-masochism. Why oh why would anyone want to put themselves through that?Its certainly not *fun*. Is it just to see if they can? Why don't they set their arm on fire to see if they can stand it for over 3 minutes? How about eating maggots? Just to say, "I can do it!" Is there a difference?

Consider this: Every year people DIE as a result of running a marathon. Just last week someone DIED during the Army 10. My friend saw him carted off! His last concious moment was something like this: 'Feeling faint! Must carry on! feet are bleeding! Miserable torture! Can't catch breath! Must....go...on....' then you're dead. And this is voluntary!

Ok, the *majority* of runners aren't dying. But it happens! And, out of the *survivors,* many are hospitalized! Out of those not dead or hospitalized, there are various other levels of torture and bodily harm occurring, including oozing blisters, heat rash, cramps, pulls, and BLEEDING NIPPLES! Yes, you heard me right, bleeding nipples are COMMON in marathons due to the constant rubbing, for 26 miles of torture, of your abrasive shirt against your tender, tender nipples. OH PLEASE SIGN ME UP!

The name marathon comes from the legend of Pheidippides, a Greek soldier, who was sent from the town of Marathon to Athens to announce that the Persians had been defeated in the Battle of Marathon. It is said that he ran the entire distance without stopping and burst into the senate with the words "Masters! Victory is ours!" before collapsing and dying due to exhaustion. And after that, someone said, 'That was so cool! Lets all try to see how far we can run until our nipples bleed and we drop dead. That will be great fun!'

AND PEOPLE SIGNED UP!

wtf?

Attn all nerds: Night Rider is real!

2007-10-15T15:54:00.000-04:00

Driverless Car
First came a car that could parallel park by itself. Now comes a vehicle that University of Central Florida students said can do the rest of the driving, too.

This is the future- though it may be scary if the car malfunctions and you are unable to take over- or if it turns evil like Christine...

Way cuter then carrot top

2007-10-08T16:41:00.000-04:00

In response to being begged to post a new entry so no one has to look at carrot top anymore when checking for a new entry, here is a new entry!

The only reason it took me so long to post is when no one leaves comments, I think no one is reading!

This weekend I went camping up in PA with V, B-Funk, Shannon, and dogs. The only photo I took was this one of Kona & Doobie, and it was in the car on the way! Stupid. Anyway V traded in the Beamer for an Isuzu Rodeo which is so awesome! you can put so much stuff in there, and the dogs had plent of room in the back, and it made camping effortless. My car seems so small and useless! Anyway, the weather was outstanding, we were right by a tennis court so we played a little bit, grilled up some veggie masala burgers with this *awesome* Curried Mango Grille Sauce , seasoned roasted onions and mushrooms, grilled asparagus, roasted garlic, & some brocolli-- yum, and campfire cooking is fun!

Gross things: 'camping' in an RV with sattelite TV and traveling via golf cart instead of on foot, being cranky and fighting after not getting enough sleep, Michelobe Light

Awesome things: standing in a field looking up at the stars while spinning dizzily around in circles in the cool night air, falling asleep and waking up beneath a canopy of trees and the open sky, blueberry muffins with fresh fruit and a doubleshot espresso for breakfast at a picnic table on a crisp fall morning

the grossest of grossness

2007-10-04T14:34:00.000-04:00

Carrot Top goes buff.

This is the most disturbing photo I have seen in a long time.

*Shudder*

my favorite comments I have read about this photo include:

"His face looks like somebody put plastic wrap over it and he forgot to take it off before he used a hair dryer. I think he's a crab person."
"aghhh! what the f**k is wrong with carrot top's face in that photo???? he looks like he's free-falling from a very tall building"
and
"PULL YOUR PANTS UP IM ONLY 13"

Your comments?

In music news...

2007-10-03T11:33:00.000-04:00

I heard recently the craziest thing so I had to verify it, and it is in fact true.

Robert Plant (led Zeppelin) and Alison Krauss have partnered and produced an album (Raising Sand). I know what you're thinking... Robert Plant is still alive?

Anyway, haven't listened to the whole album but some of it is a little too country-ish for me. Still, not bad, and worth a listen. There are some nice harmonies in 'Please Read the Letter' if you want to just check out one song.

Also, Radiohead, in generous Google fashion, has decided to make their new album 'In Rainbows' available on their site for digital download for HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT TO PAY FOR IT!

"If the new method works then more artists could be encouraged to give up on record labels and go on their own."

What do you think about that?

I, of course, am getting an advanced copy from my Radiohead fan-buddy Eric :)

But am thinking about going on the site and giving some money anyway.

NY NY photo montage

2007-10-02T12:41:00.001-04:00

Photo comments (in approximate order)

Cool architecture

Sunset on the water

Halawi Korean restaurant Manahattan

Metal tree sculpture in the park

Bike's not going anywhere sculpture in a store

Pigs window shopping at chelsea boutique

Jeep crash window display in a store

Retro bubble chair hanging in restaurant doorway

Fattest dauchund I've ever seen!!

the famous Gotham comedy club- hilarious

Terrifying demon with mophair

Dumplings !

International parade in Jackson Heights

Breakdancing

Best damn coffee I've ever had in my entire freaking life

Part of the menu from the All Peanut Butter Sandwiches Restaurant

not too bad for hags

2007-09-18T22:19:00.001-04:00

Anyway, in other news, GPS is my hero.

Jake was one of only 10 kids in his school to be invited to audition for this prestigious childrens choir. Its very exclusive and a big honor to even be invited. Unfortunately, about a week before, he wigged and decided he didnt want to do it, mostly because his teacher had psyched him out by talking nonstop about how none of the kids from her school had been picked last year.

*sigh*

well I made him go anyway but promised I wouldn't make him sing. Which he took me up on, unfortunately. Even though after practicing in the car on the way there he seemed like he was considering it. Wow that kid can stand up to some pressure, though! Not the kids in his class, nor his teacher, nor the director of the program could get him to budge. While waiting for his class to finish auditioning, the director talked to him a little and was really nice. She told him if he changed his mind he could audition with another group, or by himself, or tomorrow.

In the end, he decided to come back the next day and audition! awesome.

A photo of 'girls night out' with chicks from highschool days a couple of weeks ago:

We went to a club called Mosaic where they let us in for half price because we're girlz :)

There was a pretty good DJ there named something like DJ LOVEGROVE. Yes Ang & I must have been in the bathroom when they had the 'lets all wear bright patterned dresses tonight' conversation, and yes, once again, I win the smallest head contest.

We don't look too old do we?

Hippy Bathday Hogs

2007-09-17T16:41:00.000-04:00

My birthday was this weekend, and while I didn't end up going to NY it still was really fun. My actual birthday fell on a holiday so we celebrated both at dinner at my parents house. V and M came, as well as my sister & her b/f. Then on Fri. night we went to the Irish festival in the rain and met up with B-Funk & g/f who is knocked up! So exciting but also stressfull because one of them isn't psyched about it. Or, is still getting there. I don't know whats worse, being honest about your trepidation even if its hurtful to your pregnant girl, or pretending to be psyched when you're really not. Usually I'm all for honesty but when its brutal, I just don't know. Maybe a softened version of the truth would be the best?

The moral of the story is, if you know V, you better double-wrap it, because this has happened to almost everyone he knows!!

Anyway, on Sunday we threw together a last-minute joint bday party for me & monica / sunday football event. There were a lot of people and a lot of food! And even tiki torches. M&W brought a Morroccan feast (all vegetarian of course!), Ang made the chocolate/reecie-cup cake pictured (Which actually says,"happy birthday HAGS") and the party was kind of two rounds,the early people who left shortly after the game, and the people who didn't show up until 8. By the time we went to bed we were exhausted! But in a good way

"Darling, gaze into my eyes from across the room as we share this vegetable delight..."

my birthday astrology report

2007-09-13T14:08:00.000-04:00

How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others
Ferociously proud and somewhat vain, you like to be impressive and to be seen as Somebody Special. You are not timid, meek, or self-effacing, and are rarely content being in the background or in the subordinate position. You are a natural leader, and do not take orders from others very well. You must have something of your own, something creative - be it a business, a project, a home or whatever - that you can develop and manage according to your own will and vision. Whatever you do, you do it in a unique, dramatic, individual way. You like to put your own personal stamp on it.

The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
At heart you are modest and humble, and you rarely strive to be in the limelight or in a position of power. You have a sharp analytical mind, a keen eye for detail, and you prefer to observe, dissect, and study life from a distance. Conscientious and conservative, you can be relied upon to be careful, efficient, and thorough in your work and you take pride in doing a job well. What you may lack in self-confidence you often make up for in skill - developing expertise, technical knowledge, and competency in some specialized area. You are adept at using your hands to create or fix things, and meticulous attention to detail and careful craftsmanship are your forte. Some would say you are a little TOO meticulous, for you can be extremely critical and petty if everything is not done exactly as you think it should be, and you worry about things that other people consider trivial and unimportant. You like to organize, categorize, and arrange everything into a logical system, and you are often distinctly uncomfortable when something does not fit into a neat category. Disorganization vexes you. You probably wish that you were not such a perfectionist, for besides being a stickler for details, you can be mercilessly self-critical as well. Whether in your environment or in yourself, you tend to focus on the flaws, with a desire to improve, refine, and perfect. You are strictly factual, truthful, and scrupulously honest in your self-estimation, and you often do not give yourself enough praise or credit.

true?

This morning Cody made me breakfast- fresh baked cinnamon rolls, veggie sausage links, and strawberries. He is the sweetest ever. :) :) :) I'm so lucky

The Next Movie I am Excited About

2007-09-07T14:20:00.000-04:00

Its been a while since I was really excited to see a movie. I think the last time I was excited and the movie met my hopeful expectations was 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' (i love you charlie kaufmann!)

there were a few in between that weren't as good as I had hoped.

Well I'm trying to keep my expectations low, but I am super-psyched to see this new movie:
Across the Universe

I

Can't

Wait

In other news, they released the new set of iPods, one of them is the iPod touch which is the same as the iPhone but no phone. If you have that one you can download music wirelessly.
Cool. Also, they dropped the price of the iPhone like $200. :)

chocolate cake and boobies

2007-09-05T12:51:00.000-04:00

Mmmm I love that free chocolate birthday cake at Macaroni Grill with the hot fudge sauce poured all over it and sprinkled with nuts. Yum! M & I shared a pre-birtday dinner there last night. Man, the years are passing so quickly -- I can't believe I'm in my 30s.

Speaking of OLD, my cousin just had her 4th baby, finally the girl she's been wanting after 3 boys in a row. She's 40! That seems so old to be popping out puppies! I wonder what she's going to name her? She has a name-theme-thing going on: Barak (Lightning), Or (light), Koren (shining, beaming). Maybe she should go the other way and name her Layla (night). That's a pretty name.

More interestingly, she recently had a boob job; I wonder if having a baby will ruin it? Inquiring minds want to know...

OBX part II

2007-09-05T10:48:00.000-04:00

Over labor day weekend we went to the outer banks with A & S and their big frat dog Tyson.
He's an awesome dog, but man are they borderline obsessed with him! We brought Dewberry who again was a dream in the car, but didn't take too kindly to Tyson's ubiquitous sexual advances. I guess ol' Dewby is straight :P . He's usually super-submissive, but when mounted by a 100 lb beefy frat-dog, he showed a defensive side I've never seen in him before. Can't blame him I guess, no one wants to get @$$ -raped on their vacation!

It was fun and relaxing, but man what a heinous drive! We went to the largest dune on the east coast at Kitty Hawk and climbed it. It was beautiful, like being in a mini-desert, but also hot and dry and exhausting. It made me realize I never want to be stranded in the actual desert (duh!) The wind was blowing these cool patterns over the dunes, and everything had a hazy glow due to the sand on the surface of the dunes constantly being in motion from the wind.

Another fun thing we did was go-karts. There was a 'no bumping' sign, but we just ignored it and had an all-out war. The final result was a multi-car collision after which Jake and I got stuck, turned backwards, our kart trashed, and they had to stop all of the drivers to turn us back around. After the crash, our kart was shaking, sputtering and struggling through the last two laps! haha. oops

The beach house had a hot tub we chilled out in, and we watched season 2 of the Chapelle show- which, by the way, the funniest thing I have ever seen is Charlie Murphy (Eddie Murphy's brother) telling stories from the 80's about hanging out with Rick James and Prince. Dave Chapelle does these hysterical reenactments and also sprinkles in some actual commentary from Rick James. freakin HILARIOUS! seriously.

The highlight of the trip, though, wasn't when I got a $150 speeding ticket on the way back. Actually it was the last evening of the trip. I took the dog for a walk at about 11:00 pm and realized I hadn't seen the ocean at night yet. So I walked throught the cool darkness headed towards the surf, climbed the stairway over the dune, and on the other side... a glorious sight. Breathtakingly beautiful. The dark night sky, sprinkled with a thousand stars above; the moon a large bright glowing orange orb hanging between a few lonely clouds, the only source of light on the abandoned shore. The surf, barely visible below in the darkness, powerfully crashing with regularity upon the glistening sands, the sea and sand spreading out eternally into the darkness. The dune behind me casting out all signs of civilization, so that the only things existing in the entire world are me, my dog, the moon above, and the vast ocean. Incredible.

lonely feeling

2007-09-05T10:42:00.000-04:00

Its a lonely feeling
Realizing again and again throughout This Life
Where promises mean nothing
and betrayals often not even aknowledged
That the only one you can ever really trust
is yourself

Go Wild Cats

2007-08-27T15:56:00.000-04:00

Went to Cody's high school orientation night. So weird being at Wilde Lake - as a parent!

I know this blog post will make several readers feel really old!!!
Weren't we just in high school??

try some optimism for a change!

2007-08-23T11:48:00.000-04:00

My faith in humanity has been restored.
I feel like I should write an article to the papers about this selfless act of goodwill from stranger to stranger.

So, last night I recruited my dad into coming over with a (entirely too small) ladder to help try to retrieve my iguana who has been stranded at the tippity-top of a tall apple tree in my back yard for at least a week, through days of cold and rainy weather. Standing on the ladder and holding a giant bamboo stalk over my head didn't even come *close* to the lizard.
Giving up on that tactic, we finally tried throwing apples near her and shaking the tree in an effort to scare her into coming lower down into the tree. But to no avail. Finally we realized the futility of our efforts and, with a sigh of defeat, called it a night.

A few minutes later I started walking my dog, when across the street, almost mocking me with its proximity and with being the perfect tool to solve my dilemma, was a BGE truck with a cherry-picker on it. I started thinking, 'if only I could talk the BGE guy into helping me... but no, there is no way he will drive his company truck which he could certainly get fired for doing, down a grassy hill to my back yard, where it could get stuck in the mud, during the time he is supposed to be working on something across the street!

So, feeling downtrodden, defeated, and like god is mocking me, the ultimate pessimist, I continued on my walk, wishing I had the nerve to ask anyway, though I already knew what the answer would be. My phone rings and its my friend who is coming to town to get a pedicure. I outline the situation to her and whine until she is fed up and agrees to anything just to shut me up, anything in this case being to ask the BGE guy my crazy request!

Magically, the guy agrees to at least take a look!! I am blown away by the fact that he would even consider it! We hang around for a good 30 or 40 minutes while he finishes up his task. Meanwhile, night is falling and the darker it becomes, the more pessimistic I feel about the guy actually helping. Finally, he comes over and says, 'OK lets take a look'. We walk around and I show him the tree, the lizard, the path and grassy hill he will have to back his truck down. He is afraid the heavy truck will get stuck. I try to look cute and needy and helpless and hopeful all at the same time. I mention that the lizard is friendly and a vegetarian. I throw in there that the CA trucks drive down here all the time, though they may not be as big as his.

He is swayed and goes to get his truck, drives down the hill, points his truck spotlight directly on the iguana so the only thing illuminated in the dark sky is the green belly of Artemis, stretched across a thin branch. He hops into the nimble cherry picker and maneuvers himself to the right spot. At this point anything can go wrong- the iguana can make a run for it. He can grab the iguana, but drop her in fear when she starts to thrash about. But he is staunch and steady in his task and holds firmly while the 6 foot lizard in his hand proceeds with her panicked flailing. He comes down with some difficulty and hands her off to me and that's it, problem solved, sans tragedy!
I vigorously shake his hand, thanking him profusely, telling him he has renewed my faith in humanity. I still can hardly believe it! What a great guy, what a happy ending!

iguana in a tree!!

2007-08-22T17:02:00.000-04:00

So, after searching the house for 2 days for my missing Iguana Artemis who managed to sneak out of the top of her cage, I finally spotted her. OUTSIDE. At the top of a 25 ft tree in my backyard!!!

She's been out there for days with no sign of coming down.

V called CA and the fire dept. with no luck, and I called Animal Control, also with no luck.

Gone, I guess, are the days when the firemen come out to rescue the kitty stuck in a tree!

Well, today I am healthy, tomorrow I may be a cripple if I fall out of the ladder I must try to climb to attempt to dislodge the poor dinosaur from her perch before she freezes or starves to death.... Keep tuned for updates and photos. Wish me luck! I'm somewhat afraid of heights!

P.S. Don't see 'Flags of Our Fathers'

BORING and SLOW

oops!

2007-08-16T13:20:00.000-04:00

So Jack, the guy we use for printing at work, came in yesterday and told a story of how he bought a 2K diamond engagement ring for his wife that he went all the way to Curaçao (which he said has the most beautiful beach he has ever seen) to obtain.

Apparantly, she 'left it on the counter at work' and (duh) it was stolen. Who leaves a $12,000 ring on the counter at work? (For him, I think he was more upset about the implication behind not being careful with something that is so meaningful, more then the cost, although that was a factor too!) He said it took him 3 days to get over the initial shock of the phone call!

Anyway luckily the office where she works covered it through their insurance since he didn't insure the ring when he bought it!! So they are headed back down to Curacao for their 1 yr. anniversary to replace the ring. One time he asked her where the ring was and she said she left it in a drawer at work (over the weekend) WTF!

:-O

2007-08-15T17:01:00.000-04:00

Some of the leading killers in America today, including heart disease, cancer, obesity, and strokes, are directly linked to meat-based diets. Heart disease is the number one cause of death in America today, and it is caused by the build-up of cholesterol and saturated fat from animal products in our arteries. The only two doctors in human history who have successfully reversed heart disease have included an exclusively vegetarian diet as a part of their programs. The average vegan cholesterol level is 133 (compared to 210 for meat-eaters); there are no documented cases of heart attacks in individuals with cholesterol under 150. Other health problems tied to clogged arteries, like poor circulation and atherosclerotic strokes, can be virtually eliminated with a vegan diet.

Vegans are approximately one-ninth as likely to be obese as meat-eaters and have a cancer rate that is only 40 percent that of meat-eaters. People who consume animal products are also at increased risk for many other illnesses, including strokes, obesity, osteoporosis, arthritis, Alzheimer's, multiple allergies, diabetes, and food poisoning.

bellies, boats, and babies

2007-08-14T14:43:00.000-04:00

Well I finally got to spend some time with V, though lately its been seeming like we are acquaintances rather then dating, meeting occasionally for lunch. We spent the entire weekend together, and it marked the third year that we have been together (!!)
The day we celebrated happened to fall on the same day that I was supposed to go to a Moroccan restaurant with Monica to celebrate a $50 windfall she got from selling a book I gave her on amazon.com, which she was awesome enough to want to pay for my dinner with. yay! So Me, V, Monica, my brother (who was staying with me for a week) and his ex-girlfriend all went to Taste of Morocco in Silver Spring. My bro, his ex, and I all shared the veggie feast for 2 (and still had leftovers for the next day) while M & V shared the carnivore special. My only complaint is that 2 of the veg dishes seemed identical other then one coming with couscous, but that's OK because we still had a third dish (Bastilla, yum~!) , plus fruit, dessert, tea, and salad. And there was a belly dancer !

The guy poured the Moroccan mint tea from above his head without spilling a drop! And I got a beautiful bracelet and earrings from V which I love. So, although it wasn't a romantic one-on-one dinner or anything, it still was really nice and a cool experience, and at least we were together.

On Sunday we were invited out on V's friend's boat- we picked up her baby and drove her to the marina where we met up with Joy, her new husband Steve who couldn't remember my name and kept calling me Sherry or something! And her ex boyfriend/baby daddy, and their daughter. Whack, but I'm glad they can all get along like that! How cute is V with a baby. At the beginning he was afraid to pick her up :)

Anyway that night, tired out from all of that fresh air and swimming and such, we ate leftover Moroccan food and watched Akira together which was really good!!! I saw it before in H.S. but didn't remember anything. Kudos to V for keeping an open mind and giving it a chance, even though its a cartoon!

My evil robot cat will slay you with his laser eyes

2007-08-10T12:36:00.000-04:00

After work, tennis with V until the storm rolled in. I was in a foul mood but the tennis and the company transformed me into human again. I still suck at tennis but marginally improved over the last few weeks. VeRy marginally.

After V & Kona left, Ariella, Moira, & Jaime stopped by and we hung out until 1:30 catching up and talking about everything from fundamentalist religious fanatics to RPGs to global warming to the current state of the music industry. Also of note were the fact that Jaime now produces some podcasts that I subscribed to, and the most important new discovery of the evening:

LOLCats

How did I ever live my life without knowing about this site?

It will change your life.

Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World

2007-08-10T12:04:00.000-04:00

Cupcakes are generally banal and insipid. They range from mediocre to pure sugar-coated crap not worth consuming. They may look enticing, you think you want it, but once you eat it you wish you could jump into the DeLorian and go 88mph back to the moment right before you stuffed it into your gullet.

Now, you would think that vegan cupcakes, cupcakes sans major cupcake ingredients such as milk and eggs, would be even worse! Well, you are DEAD WRONG.

Vegan Tiramisu cupcakes are so heavenly, so exquisite, so delectable, they will make you want to slap your momma.

I mean, they are the best cupcakes I have ever laid gustatory papillae on.

WOW.

Graying Hippie Lives In Treehouse In Urban Miami Neighborhood

2007-08-09T11:08:00.000-04:00

this is so cool

MIAMI -- A graying hippie is living in a treehouse above a secret garden in the middle of Miami.
For 15 years, 56-year-old Shawnee Chasser has lived atop the 1.5-acre nirvana of green trees and farm animals behind a row of houses ten minutes from downtown.
The tree also provides extra income. Chasser has been bombarded with calls after a Craigslist posting that offers two treehouse rooms, each $380 a month. She said many are so taken with the ad, they have sent her checks sight unseen.
But even hippies need electricity.
Chasser's tile-floored kitchen has a blender, popcorn maker, oven, stove and refrigerator. Her 11-year-old daughter watches TV and does homework on the computer that has wireless Internet. They keep cool with a ceiling fan, but no air conditioner.
Chasser and her family host field trips, teaching public school children about the environment. They're also raising money to build a healing garden for troubled youth.

misogyny or misunderstanding?

2007-08-07T14:03:00.000-04:00

So, this is a 'joke email' going around, sent by a married man with the caption 'so sad, but so true!'

Is this flat out misogyny or do previously sweet and wonderful women really turn into horrible monsters once they get to the altar? And even so, would that justify behaviors mentioned above such as 'tips on lying' and 'how to get out of her family events' ?

Perhaps, during the dating phase, things are nice and friendly and all about kissing and movies and going out to dinner and impressing eachother. Never once does the subject of socks on the floor or who will scrub a toilet come up. Once a man gets married, suddenly there are responsibilities (such as washing the dishes) which previously the bachelor was able to let go for weeks at a time, choosing to use the top of an old pizza box he dug out from under his chair for a plate rather then tackle the pile in the sink. Suddenly he finds, when he tries to continue this lifestyle, his sweet fiancee has turned into a nagging wife. Now the man is in a major dilemna- clean up after himself (oh horror!) or say, 'dishes is womens work. now make me dinner!' while snickering to himself and thinking, 'I'll never be whipped!'

Next thing you know, things escalate into a full on fight since the woman feels taken advantage of and overworked, and the man is sleeping on the couch. Of course she doesn't want to have sex after months, maybe years of built-up resentment over handling 80% of the housework even though they both work full time. Perhaps thats the explanation behind the items on the magazine cover, rather than 'women are evil'

Why would a man marry or even date a women if they hate women so much and feel so negatively about them?

Maybe because they want a mother? Instead of becoming grown-ups, it seems these 'boys' are choosing to re-live thier childhoods with their wives filling in the 'mother' role and them regressing into the rebellious youth who expects to be taken care of so they can play all day.

Screw that. stay single, man-boys of the world. You'll make a lot less women miserable and you'll never have to be nagged while sitting in your pigsty eating microwave meals alone in front of the television surrounded by your own filth.

Want me to tell you how I really feel? ;)

-tips to get your mate to help on the homefront

What do you think?

War and Fleas!

2007-08-07T12:42:00.000-04:00

So here's the wierd thing I did last weekend.

I got the kids, V, his mom and little brother to go to a water ballet in Patterson Park called War and Fleas:

"See Tolstoy's Classic Novel presented in a glorious water ballet spectacle of Canine Courage and Squirrelly Subterfuge! Behold the Politics of the Dog Park as you've never seen it before!"

Afterwards V's mom said, 'I've never seen anything like that.... and I probably never will again..." HA HA!

new-gle (noogle)

2007-08-07T12:31:00.000-04:00

I am thinking of naming my first born child Google. thats how much I love google. Sorry Cody, I hope you weren't too attached to your name...

New google cool free thing:

Tired of paying 25 cents- $1.00 just to get a phone number?
Tried 1-800-Free-411 and found it irritating to listen to advertisements and a struggle to get them to understand your requests? (Business name please? "Columbia Association" Did you say, 'Colorado Penal Institution?' "NOOO!" Lets try again. Business name please? "ARRGH!" Did you say, "Arnie's Pizza and sub shop?" "NOOO!! You D&**#794 F&amp;amp;*$&*!" Could you repeat that please?)

Well stress no more. Now Google offers its own FAR SUPERIOR version of 411. 1-800-GOOG-411. Free, no ads, and directly connects you to your requested number.

enjoy!

(more info about Goog-411)

Visiting with my skinny friend

2007-07-26T15:56:00.001-04:00

My stupid skinny friend came to visit just to make me feel fat and out of shape. Just kidding --but thats what happened. She's really doing a great job of running regularly and all of the stuff I am struggling to do even extremely irregularly! Thank god for tennis with V or it would be really bad. I just have to decide I'm doing it and DO IT but I feel so lazy lately!

We had some good "girl chat" but it sucks having to compress it all into a couple of hours. Maybe she'll move back !! But not anytime soon.

Its soooo weird having these teenage kids now. Cody was thrilled to finally be taller then Michelle and I think they've all come to look forward to our yearly or bi-yearly get-togethers. Instead of bickering non-stop, now they are suddenly having meaningful discussions and being super-polite and accomodating. (tee hee)

After talking about her marriage, it seems like maybe it was a bad fit from the beginning but they just tried to make it work anyway having already made the commitment. But, 2 kids and 7 years later, things sure get messy. And sadly for me, she probably can't move away from SC ever, or at least until her youngest turns 18! By then we'll be OLLLLD (er) Anyway, its always fun to hang out with her and I wish circumstances were different.

Man do I look tan!!

stupidness

2007-07-26T15:43:00.000-04:00

Recently I had an argument with my mother over the fact that she doesn't want dogs in her house (which is fine) so when I am visiting I tie my dog outside (which is fine). I also have gotten a stern warning never to ask for dogsitting from them. Which is fine. However, last time when I was invited to dinner and tied the dog outside, I came in to find my sisters' boyfriend's dog, inside the house, sans my sister or her boyfriend. I couldn't help saying something, I guess I'm still not completely mature or something, but of course it resulted in an argument. Blah. I'm just usually a pretty logical person and there's no logic to this!

Anyway, when talking about it over the phone later, I tried to apologize while still maintaining that I have a right to feel upset and like there is some favoritism going on here, when I get accused for causing everything bad that my sister has ever done in her life. Is it my fault? Who knows, I mean i did cause an uproar in her childhood by running away from home for a year when I was 16, I'm sure that had some effects on her. But to be held completely responsible just doesnt seem fair (aside from the fact that I was 16 when I made those choices!) And doesn't the last 15 yrs of being a good sister somewhat make up for one year of selfishness? I guess not.

And who are we pointing the finger at to explain the mess I made of my teenage years.... hmmmm?

Finger pointing is useless anyway, hurtful without being productive.

photos!

2007-07-12T15:55:00.000-04:00

Ok ok, due to major photo slacking, I will be releasing the photos from my trip to san Diego despite the noted absence of the ocean kayaking photos due to some major photo distribution slacking issues BRAD! In addition, some outdated photos from our trip to the outer banks and St. Pete's Beach.

San Diego

Outer Banks

3 photos from St. Pete's Beach, FL

QUEST FOR GLORY II: TRIAL BY FIRE

2007-07-12T15:29:00.000-04:00

Cool! Well, maybe....

AGD Interactive is remaking this old RPG I used to play when I was a little kid. It was so cool (at the time) ! My bro & I would play for hours and hours trying to figure out the puzzles and what to do next. You actually had to type in your end of the conversations, and think of the right questions to ask each character in order to get the information you needed to go forward in the game. Maybe now it will seem lame, and will I ever find time or interest in playing a computer game again? who knows. But anyway here is a link to more info for any nostalgic nerds out there: http://www.agdinteractive.com/QFG2.php

Its due to be released sometime in 2007....

Bad thing to have lying around....

2007-06-29T13:46:00.000-04:00

If you are suicidal!!

I mean, who puts 'DO IT' on a box of razorblades!?

Thats just wrong!

Just discovered two new choices for President of the U.S.A.

I'm leaning towards Walken, cuz, boy do I love to hear that man's weird cadence when he talks!
Awful & outdated joke: Whats the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
.
.
.
.
.

Christopher Walken.

get it??

filler post

2007-06-27T16:24:00.001-04:00

I'd like to blog about my trip to San Diego but am waiting on some photos.

So in the meantime, here are a few fillers to read, but good ones.

Caring for your Introvert
I don't consider myself 100% introvert, however I definitely do have these tendencies so I found this article good reading and kind of funny

Two compliments I got today:
Coworker: Thank you! You're my hero!
Friend: Thank you! Ultimate Game advice worked!

"I am in no way a violent person."

2007-06-20T12:44:00.000-04:00

Woman jailed for testicle attack
A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Best Quote:
A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

if its not one thing its another

2007-06-14T16:05:00.000-04:00

Ahh the stress, I am marinating in it!

Back to back ear infection kid, brakes going out on my car ($400!!) and flooded basement have left me totally wound up with stress. Having to deal with things almost completely alone gets old after a while! I was up till after midnight between cleaning up the flood, washing the soaked clothes, and packing lunches and stuff. Oh well I guess what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Or kills you, but slowly over time. ack.

pity party for me! who wants to come !

er, what i mean is, i am woman hear me roar? Thats right, I can handle ANYTHING!

woot.

believers beware

2007-06-12T12:31:00.000-04:00

Monday Slacker Site of the day:

This comic strip is hilarious, but (((WARNING))) very critical of Christianity!!

So if you are unable to have a sense of humor about religion, don't CLICK HERE. For the rest of you, enjoy! Some are better then others, so read a bunch of them.

bleck!

2007-06-11T15:56:00.000-04:00

Well, a largely uneventful weekend, which was A-OK by me since I haven't really been feeling well lately. Actually, not entirely uneventful: Saturday morning I spent in the E.R. to get antibiotics for my son's ear infection. big weekend fun.

Saw Oceans 13, which was entertaining but not much more then that. Sunday V helped me with my yard which looked like an abandoned lot since I killed all of the weeds a few weeks ago, leaving giant bare spots in the yard amongst tall unkempt grass, since the manual push mowers I have pretty much suck ass. It was sooo awesome of him to offer to help, I never would have asked, and I have no idea how long it would have taken me to get to it on my own (forever??) He weed-wacked it down to a reasonable length, then we hoed up the bare spots and added some potting soil, then covered each spot with this aquamarine colored fuzz that is a mix of fertilizer and grass seeds. So now the lawn looks really sci-fi but anyway, supposedly in 7-14 days new grass should be growing. Cross your fingers!
Now I know why my friend Aaron 'outsources' all of that stuff, lawn looks great and you never have to sweat and get dirty on the weekend! But actually, for me it was painless when doing it alongside V. Its doing it alone that is the suck. 100 bonus boyfriend points awarded. :)

So, I don't know if you've ever had to give a sick child liquid medicine, but believe me, its an ordeal. I'd rather take part in almost any other task. Nevertheless, I have in the past tasted many awful medicines, such as Robotussin which is gross, or Nyquil which tastes like liquid satan. So, I know it tastes bad but you just suck it up and gulp it down quickly, make a face, and move on with your life. So, a little bit of moaning and gagging is tolerable, but after a while its like, just drink the damn stuff and lets move on, kid! Which is how I felt about it until last night, dose 2 of antibiotics. The poor kid looked mortified, horrified, petrified, and even terrified, in addition to any other number of 'fied's.

I'm like, enough moaning, just drink it already, how bad could it be? It smells like bubble gum! Then I stick my finger in there and put it in my mouth to prove it. For the first second, a sweet bubblegummy flavor, and a smug look starts to cross my face. This isn't bad at all, it tastes like, cand.... then, out of nowhere, my mouth is assaulted by vilest most heinous flavor I've ever experienced, including my mother's cooking (just kiddin!!) I feel like the rat must feel after it takes a bite of that poisoned cheese... oh crap, this can't be good. Worse even, the flavor lingers and matures on my toungue - bleck! This is really the worst stuff i've ever put in my mouth, and that was only one pinky-tip of the foul stuff! Oh the job of a parent, forced to give a poor sick kid such horrid dreck in the name of love. *sigh*

Well anyway, my hats off to brave kids everywhere who are able to choke that stuff down.
But a spoonful of blueberry cheesecake icecream *does* help the medicine go down. :)

weird cool world

2007-06-08T15:35:00.001-04:00

weird craigslist posting of the day:

Yasser Arafat Birdhouse - $45
Reply to: sale-347601654@craigslist.org
Be the talk of your neighborhood! Custom-built wooden birdhouse owned by the artist. Characature of former PLO leader Yasser Arafat, incredibly detailed close-up -- warts and all! Handpainted by birdhouse designer/artist. Birdhouse opening is Yasser's open mouth. Suitable for outdoors. Comes with pole for mounting.
Location: Towson, MD

COOL news story of the day:

WiTricity Gives Power Without Cords
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- How many power cords does it take for Massachusetts
Institute of Technology researchers to make a light bulb glow? None. They've come up with a way to make a 60-watt bulb glow by sending energy wirelessly from a device across the room. The breakthrough was published in the online version of the journal Science. The scientists have dubbed their finding WiTricity.
It's not a new concept, but scientists had dismissed wireless juice as inefficient because energy generated by charging devices radiates in all directions. But leave it to an MIT physics professor to make it work. Researchers used specially tuned waves that radiate less to send the energy. The key is to get the recharging device and the gadget that needs power on the same frequency, similar to how a radio picks up only one station at a time.

OBX

2007-06-08T13:05:00.000-04:00

So this past weekend was insane, between having a rescue dog delivered Friday night to deciding, also Friday night, to indeed drive to the Outer Banks, NC Saturday morning, and then deciding Saturday morning to take the dog with us, it was an exhausting stressful, emotional whirlwind!

Anyway, it was beautiful in Corolla, NC and the beach house was astounding. Considering my beach experiences as a child consisted of camping out at the state park at Assetique Island with the wild horses (cool) and the mosqitos and biting flies (VERY VERY NOT COOL!), this was UNBELIEVABLE. Just look at the photos! No not just one floor or section of this house, but the entire thing!!

Crazy ! I almost had a nervous breakdown about getting the rescue dog, who came with the name Dewberry although we aren't sure if we will keep calling him that or not. For now we have been, though, or Dewby for short, which also means teddy bear in hebrew. Unfortunately its also another word for weed but whatever!

Jet

2007-05-25T15:00:00.000-04:00

My friend who is a Vegas-head and goes there about 4 times a year just told me that her group spent $300 total for 4 people to get into a nightclub. Just to get in!! There is no live entertainment, no celebrities, no freebies included. Then they still have to pay for all of the overpriced drinks and tips and everything. Its not newyears eve or anything, it sounds insane to me!! I asked if it was like super cool awesome, and she said, "its just a really big nightclub."

you know you're old when

2007-05-24T15:26:00.000-04:00

You are super annoyed by your new 25 year old neighbor because you can hear her at 2 am out front talking and laughing and cussing with her friends.

oh how I long for the days when everyone in my row was elderly!

never thought I would say this but, I miss Ms. Peacock!

2007-05-24T13:41:00.000-04:00

trying to get back in the habit

2007-05-21T16:41:00.001-04:00

Well I've fallen off the wagon, the blaggon, the blogwagon.
Sorry!
Ok so if they could invent something that would make you not have to pee or poo ever, like a pill you had to take every day, would you take it?

Went to a tappas party this weekend which had 85% vegetarian options, which is awesome. The best dish of course was the one V made! It was like a 'cooking club' where they have a party once a month or something, with a theme, and everyone makes something new that they have never tried before. Cute idea! We're not in the club, just got invited because it was V's neighbor. One girl was talking about a friend who was having an 80,000 dollar wedding. :-0 !! She also though was talking about a wealthy attendee at her bridal shower and how she thought she might get a mercedes from him as a gift. ??

V said at our wedding he will dress like Elvis and talk into his thumb-microphone- 'uh-one fo' the money, two fo' the show...'

Sunday I went to 6 flags but was sick so couldnt ride ANYTHING! the lines were sooo short.

I'm getting my laptop tomorrow, yay!! I.T. guy suggested I get the most awesomest screen ever, a huge screen as large as my current dual-screen display! I dont know if that will actually happen, but IF IT DOES I am prepared for a company-wide jealousy sh*t storm. :/

domesticness+electronica=whack

2007-05-04T11:25:00.000-04:00

(actually playing in the the background is the Dust Brothers)

Funky!

2007-04-26T11:38:00.000-04:00

Ok, so last night my iguana LAID EGGS.
So freaky, so funky!
Firstly we were under the impression it was a male, hence the name 'Artemis'
Secondly, obviously I don't know that much about iguanas because it was totally unexpected.
In fact, my youngest son saw them on the floor and said, 'there's some kind of ... EGGS on the floor'
I looked over and was like, 'ew, old orange candy eggs from easter on the floor, gross'
I picked them up, and one was hard and candy-like, but the other kind of had a gelatinous aspect to it. I started to second-guess my assumption. I sniffed the eggs to see if they smelled like candy, but they smelled like nothing.
I put them on the table for further investigaiton and went to go get Artemis to put him/her in his/her cage, and behind him/her, was 2 more gelatinous, 2 1/2 inch long eggies! Gross, for real. And weird! What a weird weird pet to own. Seriously.

Thank god I didnt try to taste them or something! ew!

i hate neptune

2007-04-24T11:20:00.000-04:00

Friday I had girls night out since V was in Austin. We went to the Lebanese Taverna downtown and had some m'saka, shankleesh, makdous, and foole me'damas and even though I'm not in my 20's anymore, got hit on by the (super annoying) waiter. Go Away! So fun eating foreign fare and I sure do feel sorry for people who live their whole lives eating only meatloaf and mashed potatoes and never trying all of the wonderful flavors and spices and recipes out there.

Next we saw a really good, bluesy, slide guitar playin lesbian band (Michelle Malone) at the Austin Grill. Now that the weather has become bearable, I find myeself actually wanting to go do things!! Yay! I feel like I'm out of hibernation. Saturday was flag football where someone told me that they have never seen anyone as 'nested' as V and I (what does that mean?)

Cody scored a 2 point conversion and I was actually cheering out loud for him. The team won by 2 points so, well of course I attribute the win to my kid! :P It was so cool to see him bursting with pride but trying to humbly restrain it. Ahh the good parts of being a parent. So awesome. Then we went to Barnes & Noble for some coffee and chilled out looking at books before soccer. So relaxing!! Eventually I went to Balt. to see V on his day back from Austin and he took me to Thai Arroy in Federal Hill, which is HEAVEN. This, I think is my favorite thai restaurant in the world. Get the panang curry with vegetarian duck, and vegetarian drunken noodles with vegetables. You WONT be sorry!

Favorite Saturday Night Live line of the week:
Amy Poehler:
[cheery] Tomorrow is earth day.
[snarling] So suck it, neptune!
[under her breath] I hate neptune.